Follow The Shovel



Chinese Citizens Told They Must Condemn Australia’s Human Rights Record, Or Risk Imprisonment
“We ask citizens to publicly condemn Australia’s human rights record on a state-controlled social media platform of their choosing,”
Morrison Appoints Scott Cam To Rebuild Relationship With China
"It's time to take foreign policy seriously"
“We’ve Uncovered A Sophisticated Plan To Rig The Election” Say People Who Accidentally Booked A Press Conference At A Landscaping Company
“We've crossed our i's and dotted our t's" said the man standing outside a run-down warehouse next to a sex shop”.
World Breathes Sigh Of Relief After Only 48% Of Americans Vote For Corrupt, Racist Sociopath
"It’s comforting that only around 1 in every 2 people want to be led by a crime family"
Trump To Give Concession Speech At The Marriott Hardware & Lumber Warehouse
"The event will not take place at the Marriott International Hotel as previously advised"
Donald Trump Has Released An Official Statement
"You're not the boss of me!"
Biden Calls George Bush To Congratulate Him On A Well-Run Campaign
“Joe I’m going to stop you there"
Biden Becomes First Adult To Win Presidency Since 2012
The incumbent – a 74 year-old little boy from New York – has held the position since
Off You Fuck
What’s that? Can’t hear you over the all the tears
Trump Would Win Easily If Only Republican Votes Counted, New Chart Shows
“Isn't it a bit fishy that as soon as you start including Democrat votes the election becomes close?"
American Protesters Take To The Streets To Demand Less Democracy
"It’s time to ensure our voices are no longer heard”
“It’s Best Of Three!” Hysterical Donald Trump Tells Biden
"That's how it's always played! You're cheating! It's not fair! Tell him Rudy!"
Donald Trump’s Election Response Starting To Look More And More Like The Actions Of Donald Trump
“This reminds me a lot of what happened in America during the years 2016-2020"
119% Of Polls Predicted US Election Would Be This Close, New Poll Finds
181% were undecided.
A Carefully-Worded Statement About Today’s Election
Fuckety fucking fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck