Noting that they’re quite outdated and not of any real use anymore, the Commonwealth has decided to melt down the British royal family and turn it into a something more practical, such as a nice piece of jewellery or a link fence.
A spokesperson for the Commonwealth said that while the royal family was probably in fashion in the 18th and 19th century, it looked a little odd in 2023. “It’s just been sitting there doing nothing for decades – it’s time we got some use out of it,” she said.
She said reusing and recycling was really important in this day and age. “Often these days you see playgrounds or park benches made out of melted down tyres or shopping bags. I think Prince Charles would make a wonderful shopping bag”.
To accommodate monarchists, any new items made would include a label stating ‘made from 100% recycled royal family,” the spokesperson said.
A call-out has been made for ideas for the new items, with one Australian suggesting that William and Harry would make a beautiful pair of matching paper weights. Prince Andrew will be turned into a bin liner.
