George Pell has arrived in the afterlife to find it a little hotter and flamier than he expected. The cardinal said he had expected to be overawed by his first day in the afterlife, but hadn’t anticipated the large rivers of lava at the entrance.
A shocked Pell said he had been looking forward to meeting St Peter at the gates of heaven but was surprised to find a man with a pitchfork and horns instead.
“Must be fancy dress day or something. Or maybe it’s just St Peter’s day off, I’m sure we’ll catch up tomorrow,” Pell said, wiping sweat from his brow as a cauldron of lava was tipped in front of him.
Asking if he could be directed up to his exclusive cardinal afterlife suite, Pell was confused when he was instead escorted down a long set of stairs through a dark tunnel.
“This is a little different than what I expected,” Pell explained as he was shown to his cell. “And what’s Adolf doing here?”
