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Goldman Sachs announces surprise $60 billion profit after Josh Frydenberg joins firm

New regional adviser for Goldman Sachs’s Asia Pacific region, Josh Frydenberg, says he was as surprised as anyone when he crunched some numbers to reveal the division had made $60 billion more than expected.

“I’m just looking through some spreadsheets, crunching some numbers and all of sudden I realise there’s this extra $60 billion just sitting there,” Frydenberg explained.

“And I’m like, guys, how the hell did this happen? This is amazing! Ding ding ding jackpot! Let’s crack open the champagne. And on my first day too!

“And then one of the interns in the office looks at me as says ‘Frydo, you’re looking at the spreadsheet upside down’. And he was right. I had my laptop up the wrong way. Turns out we hadn’t made a $60 billion profit at all. Whoops! Still new to this economics thing!”

Frydenberg says he’s moved on from the error and is looking forward to working closely with the firm’s clients to help them find funding for unnecessary carparks.

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