Anthony Albanese has made good on a cornerstone campaign promise by announcing he will immediately remove the Parliament House prayer room’s iconic sex swing.
“Our hope is to usher in an era of change,” the nation’s new PM said. “We ask all members of Parliament, especially those within the Liberal Party, to act with civility and contain your urges until you get home, or at least until you can get to another MP’s desk”
Albanese said it was an historic day. “It’s remarkable that the son of a single mum who grew up in Camperdown is standing before you today. This part isn’t relevant to the prayer room. It’s just been fifteen minutes since I told anyone”.
When asked by reporters how many points of contact the sex swing had, Albanese replied, “Five point… ahhh four?” before trailing off.
When grilled by Greens Leader Adam Bandt if he would do more to remove the collection of sex paraphernalia across Parliament House, Albanese stated it wasn’t in his party’s mandate, but they would deliver on their promise to remove 43% of the building’s total sex toys by 2050.
The swing will be moved to Old Parliament House for display in the Museum of Australian Democracy.
By David from The ‘Berran