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Time to fuck off now, world tells COVID

It’s well past time to wrap this thing up and fuck right off out of here, the world has told COVID-19 in a strongly-worded statement this morning.

“Seriously mate, just fuck off. It wasn’t fun or funny in the first place and it’s certainly not fun or funny now,” a spokesperson for humanity said.

“You’ve made your point. You’re a big deal, you’re very clever. Well done, good for you. We’re a disaster of a species that can’t agree on anything and goes to pieces under pressure, we get it. But probably time to pull up stumps now yeah? Go on, off you fuck. All the way off. Right now please. We’re waiting”.

The spokesperson said the whole world had really had it up to here with this absolute bullshit, except Western Australia which said it wasn’t aware of what COVID-19 was.

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