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Perth Man In Crowded Pub Wondering If He’ll Ever Enjoy Freedoms Of Gold Standard NSW

Struggling to be heard over the noise of the packed front bar, Perth man George Ranaford last night asked his friends if they reckon they’ll ever get to the point where they can have 10 people over to their house, like they can in national leader New South Wales.

“Did you hear New South Wales is leading the nation out of COVID?” Ranaford shouted, accidentally spilling beer as he jostled for space in the standing-room-only venue.

“Speak up, can’t hear you!” his friends replied, wondering if he was maybe talking about the festival they’d bought tickets to for next weekend.

“I said New South Wales is leading the nation – that’s what their new Premier said,” he repeated, finally finding a quieter spot for the group at the back of the pub.

“Like I told you at Tash’s house party last weekend, they can have 1 person per 4 square metres at a pub when they’re sitting down. Something to look forward to,” he said, standing to one side to allow another group to walk past.

“I’ve heard they can have haircuts too,” Ranaford’s friend Hugh added. “Gold standard haircuts”.  

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