SCOTT MORRISON: I’ve been hearing a lot from returning Aussies about how tough the two-week hotel quarantine is. I’ve actually found it to be quite an enjoyable time. In the interests of helping out other Aussies about to make the journey home, I thought I’d share my tips for making the quarantine experience more bearable.
1. Ask for a 40-room suite: You’ve probably heard the horror stories of families cooped up for two weeks in a 12 square metre studio apartment without a window. Easy mistake to make. Had they asked to be upgraded to ‘The Lodge’ they would’ve had plenty of space to spread out and get out of each other’s hair. When you’ve got a different bathroom for each day in quarantine, it makes the whole thing a little more interesting.
2. Find activities for the kids: Social media managers can get bored quickly. Keep the young-ones entertained by building them a cubby house, buying them some chickens to play with, or getting them to professionally image-manage your entire stay.
3. Keep a visual diary of your time: One of the great things about staying in hotel quarantine is that you don’t just get a place to stay, you also get a team of forty professional photographers staying with you. I’ve loved all of the candid shots they’ve taken of me doing regular-guy things, without me even noticing. It’s a great way to keep memories of your time in isolation.
4. Keep up your normal work schedule: There’s a perception that it can be difficult to maintain your working schedule while you’re in hotel quarantine. But I’ve found that it can actually make time go more quickly. I’ve continued to put in 8-10 hours a week as Prime Minister, just as I did before quarantine.
5. Play dress-ups: This is a fun one. Find some clothes from around your quarantine hotel and mix and match ato give yourself a whole new image. Some of my favourites so far are ‘Regular guy at a BBQ who isn’t actually a fundamentalist Christian’, or ‘Fun daggy dad, who’s not a calculating political operative and just happened to wind up Prime Minister by accident’. I also like the suit jacket with boxer short look. Some people say it makes you look like a total dick, but I reckon it makes me look like one of the guys.