Follow The Shovel

2GB Listeners To Be Forcibly Removed From Alan Jones

Thousands of at-risk 2GB listeners will be placed in care to protect them from their out-of-control father figure Alan Jones.

“It’s for their own protection,” a spokesperson for the Department of Social Services said this morning. “It would be irresponsible of us to let them stay in that kind of environment, to be brought up in those circumstances”.

She described Jones as ‘bat-shit crazy’. “Every day he shouts at them. He’s drunk on his own self-importance. Those listeners, for their own benefit, should be taken away”.

Follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter or sign up for email updates at the bottom of this page. 

Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram


Enjoy this? Support The Shovel with a one-off 99c donation

For only the cost of a really shit coffee, or the annual tax payment of a multi-national company, you can support The Shovel. Make a one-off donation instantly using Spotpass - no credit card, no spam and $5 to spend instantly.

Thanks for your support!!