Terrorists Outraged To Find Afterlife Teeming With Democracy & Free Speech

heaven

A terrorist who blew himself up in the name of a medieval, despotic caliphate arrived in the afterlife last night to find a highly functioning, multicultural, democracy.

One of the terrorists was overheard saying it was nothing like he had expected. “This place is full of art, and culture, and ideas. How do I get out of this hellhole?”

Another terrorist tried to blow up the afterlife. He died and then was immediately returned to the rich cultural melting pot.

It is believed the terrorists will be held in the afterlife for an extended period of time, possibly forever.

 

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