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mathias Cormann

Finance Minister Had ‘No Idea’ People Had To Pay For Their Own Holidays

Finance Minister Mathias Cormann said he was not previously aware of the Australian tradition of people paying for their own family holidays.

trump wall

Negotiating Whiz Convinces Mexico To Pay $0 Billion To Build Wall

Deal-making maestro Donald Trump has pulled off the seemingly impossible – convincing...

Trump valentines day

Donald Trump To Spend Romantic Solo Valentine’s Dinner With The Love Of His Life

US President Donald Trump says he’ll be spending this Valentine’s Day with...

Scott Morrison

Morrison Writes To People Smugglers, Begging Them Not To Cross Australia’s Borders Which Are NOW OPEN!!

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has appealed to Indonesian people smugglers, begging them...

Australians Not Frightened Enough, Government Says

Australians are not displaying the levels of fear required of them in...

News in Brief

  • Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands

  • Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold

  • Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds

  • NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes

  • I Went Without My Phone For A Week And, Oh Fuck This Is Such A Boring Article

  • Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told

  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning

  • Phrase ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ Insensitive To Mad People, Committee Finds

  • Most Typing Errors Caused By AutoCock, Research Finds

  • Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News

  • Pete Evans Launches New Cookbook: 100 Simple Conspiracy Theories You Can Create At Home

  • Malcolm Turnbull’s 5 Tips For Owning Your Own Home

  • Short Course For Online Bigots

  • Anti-Vaccination Website Hit By Virus

  • Report Ranking Internet Speeds By Country Almost Downloaded, Turnbull Says

  • Recent News

    • The Shovel | February 19, 2019

      378 Day Australian Cricket Season Comes To A Close

    • Donald Trump satire The Shovel | February 16, 2019

      National Emergency Declares National Emergency

    • The Shovel | February 14, 2019

      Scott Morrison Gives Wife Gorgeous Lump Of Coal For Valentine’s Day

    • The Shovel | February 8, 2019

      Level Of Confected Outrage ‘Absolutely Sickening’ Online Commenter Says

    • tim wilson The Shovel | February 6, 2019

      Tim Wilson Agrees To Inquiry Into His Conduct, To Be Chaired By Tim Wilson

    • man The Shovel | February 5, 2019

      Millennials Not Graduating With Right Job Skills Says Boomer Who Can’t Use The Internet

    • The Shovel | February 4, 2019

      Profits Tumble As Banks Now Required To Have Living Customers Only

    • The Shovel | January 29, 2019

      Most Of Scott Morrison’s 1.25 Million New Jobs Will Be In Short-Term Prime Ministerial Roles, Analysis Finds

    • rainbow serpent festival The Shovel | January 29, 2019

      Fears For Group Who Went To Rainbow Serpent Festival Without Drugs

  • Recommended

    Trump

    Trump Shows Off Negotiating Skills By Shrewdly Giving In To Every Single One Of Democrats’ Demands

    The Shovel | January 29, 2019

    US President Donald Trump has displayed some of the deal-making magic he promised during the 2017 campaign, shutting down the government, then systematically caving into every single one of...

    • The Shovel | January 24, 2019

      Most Australians Think 26th January Was Date Captain Cook Landed In Gallipoli, Survey Shows

    • kelly o'dwyer satire The Shovel | January 20, 2019

      Kelly O’Dwyer Resigns, To Spend Less Time Working With Children

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      Scott Morrison Finally Responds To Murray-Darling Crisis By Moving Israeli Embassy To Jerusalem

    • The Shovel | January 13, 2019

      Australians Who Don’t Have Fun On Australia Day To Be Fined, Morrison Says

    • The Shovel | January 3, 2019

      Standing Right Next To Baggage Carousel Makes Luggage Arrive Faster, Study Shows

  • Special Report

    kelly o'dwyer satire

    Kelly O’Dwyer Resigns, To Spend Less Time Working With Children

    The Shovel | January 20, 2019

    Liberal front bencher Kelly O’Dwyer will not contest the next election, citing the ‘very personal reasons’ of wanting to spend less time surrounded by little boys. 

  • Local News

    Tim Wilson Confirms That Election Ballot Paper Will Now Contain Option To Donate To Liberal Party

    The Shovel | February 9, 2019

    Voters in the upcoming election will have the option to donate to the Liberal Party when they fill in their ballot paper, in an innovative new system devised by...

    • edm bros The Shovel | January 13, 2019

      EDM Bros Step In To Offer Free Pill Testing At Festivals

    • The Shovel | January 3, 2019

      Standing Right Next To Baggage Carousel Makes Luggage Arrive Faster, Study Shows

  • From The Shovel Archives

    Government Denounces Blatant Racism, Calls For Return To Thinly Veiled Racism

    The Shovel | August 16, 2018

    Both sides of Government have labelled Fraser Anning’s maiden speech ‘appallingly racist’, saying it was incumbent on all politicians to at least give the impression they’re not inflaming race...

    • landfill The Shovel | December 7, 2017

      Innovative New Shopping Service Allows Customers To Send Christmas Gifts Directly To Landfill

    • australia flag The Shovel | May 16, 2017

      Migrants Failing To Assimilate, 200-Year-Study Finds

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    man

    Millennials Not Graduating With Right Job Skills Says Boomer Who Can’t Use The Internet

    The Shovel | February 5, 2019

    Millennials are not graduating with the right job skills, a report commissioned by a group of CEOs who haven’t worked out how to download it yet, has found.

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