News in Brief
Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold
NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes
Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told
ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning
Phrase ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ Insensitive To Mad People, Committee Finds
Most Typing Errors Caused By AutoCock, Research Finds
Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News
Pete Evans Launches New Cookbook: 100 Simple Conspiracy Theories You Can Create At Home
Malcolm Turnbull’s 5 Tips For Owning Your Own Home
Short Course For Online Bigots
Anti-Vaccination Website Hit By Virus
Report Ranking Internet Speeds By Country Almost Downloaded, Turnbull Says
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Abbott Makes Pitch For Leadership Return, In Dazzling 400-Flag Press Conference
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Dutton Offers Asylum To White Cricketers Under Attack In South Africa
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World Down To Its Last Few Spearmint Rhinos, Concerned Researchers Report
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New Facebook Privacy Setting Allows Users To Stop Posting Intimate Details Of Their Personal Life
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Rohingyas To Reskill As White South African Farmers, In Last Desperate Attempt For Refugee Status
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Preparations To Do Nothing About Next School Massacre Now In Place, Government Confirms
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Liberal Party Commits To Having 50% Women In Seats Shown On Camera By 2025
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Russian Election: Putin Scrapes In With Just 101% Of Vote
Russian President Vladimir Putin has narrowly retained office, obtaining just over two out of every two votes in the recent national elections.
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McDonald’s Launches New ‘Ethical Options’ Made From Free Range, Cruelty Free Emulsifiers
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How White Is The Great Barrier Reef? This New Alert System May Help
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US Lifeguards To Carry Sharks, To Protect Beachgoers From Future Shark Attacks
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88% Of Relationships Begun by Colliding into Person Holding Stack of Files, Research Finds
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Overwhelming Sense Of Self-Entitlement Now Included Standard With All SUVs
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US Lifeguards To Carry Sharks, To Protect Beachgoers From Future Shark Attacks
Donald Trump has proposed radical new measures that would see lifeguards on US beaches carrying live sharks, in an attempt to limit the number of deaths caused by sharks.
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Frustrating! Women STILL Don’t Understand What Mansplaining Means
Exasperated men around the country have been at pains to point out that many women simply don’t understand what mansplaining is, despite widespread media coverage of the word.
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Out Of Touch Guy At Work Still Talking About Trump Crisis From Yesterday
58 year-old James Ronsworth was this morning still talking about yesterday’s Trump crisis as if it was the most recent scandal that had emerged from the White House.
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Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands
A Sydney businessman has arrived at his destination almost two full seconds before his fellow passengers, after bolting up into the aisle the moment the fasten seatbelt sign went...
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