News in Brief
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands
Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold
Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds
NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes
I Went Without My Phone For A Week And, Oh Fuck This Is Such A Boring Article
Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told
ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning
Phrase ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ Insensitive To Mad People, Committee Finds
Most Typing Errors Caused By AutoCock, Research Finds
Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News
Pete Evans Launches New Cookbook: 100 Simple Conspiracy Theories You Can Create At Home
Malcolm Turnbull’s 5 Tips For Owning Your Own Home
Short Course For Online Bigots
Anti-Vaccination Website Hit By Virus
Report Ranking Internet Speeds By Country Almost Downloaded, Turnbull Says
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Internal Investigation Finds Liberal Party Doesn’t Have A Fucking Problem With Bullying, Ok?
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Turnbulls Move Out Of Cramped, Dingy 8-Bedroom Prime Minister’s Residence
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Scott Morrison Gives Ministers Rupert Murdoch Pins To Remind Them Which Side They’re On
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Dutton: “My Biggest Regret Is I Wasted Time Learning To Smile”
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Malcolm Turnbull: “I Can Hold My Head High Knowing I Always Stuck To Other People’s Principles”
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Chelsea Manning Successfully Enters Australia Disguised As An Au Pair
After initially being denied a visa due to failing the ‘character test’, soldier-turned-WikiLeaks informer Chelsea Manning passed through Sydney Airport last night dressed as an Italian nanny.
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New Coles Initiative Allows Customers To Dispose Of Plastic Bags Directly Into Ocean
Saying it wanted to make it as easy as possible for customers to contribute to environmental degradation, shopping centre giant Coles today launched a new initiative that will funnel...
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New 3/4 Diet Requires You To Speak About Diet 3/4 Of The Time
A revolutionary new diet which requires devotees to speak about the diet to friends and family three out of every four minutes, has been labeled as ‘irresponsible’.
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Energy Policy: Australia To Be Entirely Powered By Tony Abbott’s Bullshit By 2020
Tony Abbott’s ongoing bullsh*t will provide enough energy to power the nation for a generation, a Coalition policy report claims.
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