News in Brief
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands
Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold
Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds
NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes
I Went Without My Phone For A Week And, Oh Fuck This Is Such A Boring Article
Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told
ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning
Phrase ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ Insensitive To Mad People, Committee Finds
Most Typing Errors Caused By AutoCock, Research Finds
Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News
Pete Evans Launches New Cookbook: 100 Simple Conspiracy Theories You Can Create At Home
Malcolm Turnbull’s 5 Tips For Owning Your Own Home
Short Course For Online Bigots
Anti-Vaccination Website Hit By Virus
Report Ranking Internet Speeds By Country Almost Downloaded, Turnbull Says
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Doctor Explains To Sick Kid On Nauru That He Has A Malignant Government
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6 Christmas Gifts That Say ‘I Love You Like The Liberal Party Loves Craig Kelly’.
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Striking Students Willing To Agree To 8 Sitting Days Next Year
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Trump Pardons Turkey (And Saudi Arabia and North Korea) At Traditional Thanksgiving Ceremony
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New Compromise Brexit Deal Lets Britain Retain Right To Constantly Complain About It
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Scott Morrison Blames Labor For Victorian Election Landslide
Prime Minister Scott Morrison says Labor is to blame for the Coalition’s abysmal showing in the 2018 Victorian State Elections, warning voters that Labor may also influence the outcome...
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The War on 2018 – Live Tour
With Trump as president, the Korean peninsula on the brink of nuclear war, Syria in chaos and a poo jogger loose on the streets of Brisbane, who would’ve thought...
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Hipster Bigot Hates Minorities You Haven’t Even Heard Of Yet
A local bigot hipster says he insults minority groups that haven’t even been covered by alternative media outlets, let alone the mainstream channels.
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Migrants Failing To Assimilate, 200-Year-Study Finds
Migrants to Australia have displayed an inability to assimilate with local values and refuse to speak anything but their native tongue, a study covering the last 200 years has...
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The 2018 Shovel Annual Is The Perfect Christmas Gift
It was the year that our Deputy Prime Minister confessed he’d been drunk for the past 18 months, our biggest bank admitted it was collecting fees from dead people,...
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