News in Brief
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Chris Bowen Randomly Dropping Taxation Rates Into Conversations, Friends Say
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Sarah Ferguson Told To Say ‘Please’ Before Asking Politicians Why They Blatantly Lied To Nation
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Abbott Determined To Get On With Serious Business Of Saying ‘Death Cult’
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Samsung TVs Also Quietly Judging Your Taste In Entertainment, Company Confirms
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Bill Shorten Slams ‘Incompetent’ Government For Failing ‘Basic Task’ Of Unseating A Prime Minister
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Tony Abbott Promises A More Inclusive Approach And 61 New Knighthoods
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Nation Surprised To Discover Opposition Leader
Australia has an Opposition Leader, it has emerged. The man, who functions in much the same way as other humans, was revealed to television audiences last night.
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Tony Abbott Has ‘Complete Support’ Of Malcolm Turnbull’s Leadership Ambitions
Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull says he stands ‘right behind’ the Prime Minister’s strategy to make a total tit of himself.
Every Child In Classroom Is Most Talented, Teacher Discovers
All grade five students at a local Adelaide primary school are the best in their class, it was revealed today.
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Anti-Vaccination Campaigners Not About To Just Start Injecting Their Arguments With Facts
A group of parents who refuse to vaccinate their children say their beloved little theories could become sick – or even die – if they are exposed to sound...
Sarah Ferguson Told To Say ‘Please’ Before Asking Politicians Why They Blatantly Lied To Nation
The ABC board has asked 7:30 presenter Sarah Ferguson to use her inside voice and remember her pleases and thank yous before quizzing MPs on their decision to systematically...
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