News in Brief
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands
Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold
Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds
NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes
I Went Without My Phone For A Week And, Oh Fuck This Is Such A Boring Article
Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told
ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning
Phrase ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ Insensitive To Mad People, Committee Finds
Most Typing Errors Caused By AutoCock, Research Finds
Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News
Pete Evans Launches New Cookbook: 100 Simple Conspiracy Theories You Can Create At Home
Malcolm Turnbull’s 5 Tips For Owning Your Own Home
Short Course For Online Bigots
Anti-Vaccination Website Hit By Virus
Report Ranking Internet Speeds By Country Almost Downloaded, Turnbull Says
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Scott Morrison Gives Wife Gorgeous Lump Of Coal For Valentine’s Day
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Level Of Confected Outrage ‘Absolutely Sickening’ Online Commenter Says
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Tim Wilson Agrees To Inquiry Into His Conduct, To Be Chaired By Tim Wilson
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Millennials Not Graduating With Right Job Skills Says Boomer Who Can’t Use The Internet
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Profits Tumble As Banks Now Required To Have Living Customers Only
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Fears For Group Who Went To Rainbow Serpent Festival Without Drugs
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Trump Shows Off Negotiating Skills By Shrewdly Giving In To Every Single One Of Democrats’ Demands
US President Donald Trump has displayed some of the deal-making magic he promised during the 2017 campaign, shutting down the government, then systematically caving into every single one of...
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Most Australians Think 26th January Was Date Captain Cook Landed In Gallipoli, Survey Shows
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Kelly O’Dwyer Resigns, To Spend Less Time Working With Children
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Scott Morrison Finally Responds To Murray-Darling Crisis By Moving Israeli Embassy To Jerusalem
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Australians Who Don’t Have Fun On Australia Day To Be Fined, Morrison Says
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Standing Right Next To Baggage Carousel Makes Luggage Arrive Faster, Study Shows
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Kelly O’Dwyer Resigns, To Spend Less Time Working With Children
Liberal front bencher Kelly O’Dwyer will not contest the next election, citing the ‘very personal reasons’ of wanting to spend less time surrounded by little boys.
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Tim Wilson Confirms That Election Ballot Paper Will Now Contain Option To Donate To Liberal Party
Voters in the upcoming election will have the option to donate to the Liberal Party when they fill in their ballot paper, in an innovative new system devised by...
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Government Denounces Blatant Racism, Calls For Return To Thinly Veiled Racism
Both sides of Government have labelled Fraser Anning’s maiden speech ‘appallingly racist’, saying it was incumbent on all politicians to at least give the impression they’re not inflaming race...
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Millennials Not Graduating With Right Job Skills Says Boomer Who Can’t Use The Internet
Millennials are not graduating with the right job skills, a report commissioned by a group of CEOs who haven’t worked out how to download it yet, has found.
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