News in Brief
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands
Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold
Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds
NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes
I Went Without My Phone For A Week And, Oh Fuck This Is Such A Boring Article
Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told
ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning
Phrase ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ Insensitive To Mad People, Committee Finds
Most Typing Errors Caused By AutoCock, Research Finds
Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News
Pete Evans Launches New Cookbook: 100 Simple Conspiracy Theories You Can Create At Home
Malcolm Turnbull’s 5 Tips For Owning Your Own Home
Short Course For Online Bigots
Anti-Vaccination Website Hit By Virus
Report Ranking Internet Speeds By Country Almost Downloaded, Turnbull Says
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Asylum Seekers Allowed Entry To Australia After Telling Authorities They’re Headed To Crown Casino
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Liberal Party Doesn’t Have Any Goddamn Fucking Issues With Bullying
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Cash-Strapped Barnaby Joyce Forced To Switch From ’98 Bordeaux To ‘06 Bordeaux
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Man Takes Break From Looking At Big Screen To Spend Time Looking At Small Screen
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Nation’s Teens Unsure How To Measure Self Worth Now That Instagram Not Showing Likes
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The Shovel’s 7 Tips For Living On Newstart
There’s been a lot of talk about increasing the Newstart payment recently. But as the Government has pointed out, there’s really no need. While $40 a day might not...
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George, Matt and Gary Walk Away From MasterChef After Channel 10 Offers Them $9 An Hour
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Nation’s Teens Unsure How To Measure Self Worth Now That Instagram Not Showing Likes
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We Used FaceApp On Peter Dutton And He Doesn’t Really Change
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Boomers Awarded Most Annoying Generation. Millennials Furious They Didn’t Get Participation Trophy
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George, Matt and Gary Walk Away From MasterChef After Channel 10 Offers Them $9 An Hour
Channel 10 say they are surprised they could not reach a contract agreement with MasterChef judges George Calombaris, Matt Preston and Garry Mehigan, after the network offered them a...
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New Long-Term Airport Carpark Just A Short Flight Away From Terminal
A new long-term airport carpark – just 250km from the central terminal – is an easy 15-minute flight away, a spokesperson for the new facility said.
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Migrants Failing To Assimilate, 200-Year-Study Finds
Migrants to Australia have displayed an inability to assimilate with local values and refuse to speak anything but their native tongue, a study covering the last 200 years has...
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We Analysed Meghan And Kate’s Body Language And … Then Stopped Because It Is Weird And Totally Unimportant
A frame-by-frame analysis of Princesses Meghan and Kate at Wimbledon this week showed that we had way too much time on our hands.
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