News in Brief
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands
Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold
Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds
NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes
I Went Without My Phone For A Week And, Oh Fuck This Is Such A Boring Article
Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told
ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning
Phrase ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ Insensitive To Mad People, Committee Finds
Most Typing Errors Caused By AutoCock, Research Finds
Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News
Pete Evans Launches New Cookbook: 100 Simple Conspiracy Theories You Can Create At Home
Malcolm Turnbull’s 5 Tips For Owning Your Own Home
Short Course For Online Bigots
Anti-Vaccination Website Hit By Virus
Report Ranking Internet Speeds By Country Almost Downloaded, Turnbull Says
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American Drone Was Invaded By Iranian Airspace, US Inquiry Finds
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Israel Folau Follows In Jesus’ Footsteps By Bankrolling Legal Defense With GoFundMe Page
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AFP Raids The Shovel Headquarters To Find Out Who Leaked Nude Pics Of Peter Dutton
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Apple Scraps iTunes To Focus On Exciting New Ways To Lose Your Music
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May Resigns To Allow Britain To Fuck Up Brexit A Different Way
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Australians Who Have Had A Go Will Receive Their Go In The Mail By Next Month, Government Reassures Impatient Public
Scott Morrison says the government will ‘absolutely’ deliver its flagship policy from last month’s election campaign, assuring any Australian who has had a go will get a go within...
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May Resigns To Allow Britain To Fuck Up Brexit A Different Way
British Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she will stand down from her role to give other people a chance to totally destroy the future of the nation.
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Woman Mistakenly Thinks Friends Give Shit About Her Holiday
In what has been described as a gross misunderstanding, a Brisbane women somehow assumed her friends were interested in seeing 141 photos of her sipping a drink on a...
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5 Tips For Avoiding African Gangs In Melbourne
So you’re visiting Melbourne? We hope you brought security. With African gangs running unchecked across the streets of Australia’s second-largest city, most visitors don’t make it beyond the Tullamarine...
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Mt Everest Promises To Install Second ATM
Mt Everest authorities have responded to the frustrations of climbers queuing for cash, saying they will install a second ATM on the mountain before the end of this month.
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