News in Brief
Man Shaves 1.7 Seconds Off 2-Hour Flight By Standing Up As Soon As Plane Lands
Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold
Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds
NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes
I Went Without My Phone For A Week And, Oh Fuck This Is Such A Boring Article
Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told
ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning
Phrase ‘Political Correctness Gone Mad’ Insensitive To Mad People, Committee Finds
Most Typing Errors Caused By AutoCock, Research Finds
Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News
Pete Evans Launches New Cookbook: 100 Simple Conspiracy Theories You Can Create At Home
Malcolm Turnbull’s 5 Tips For Owning Your Own Home
Short Course For Online Bigots
Anti-Vaccination Website Hit By Virus
Report Ranking Internet Speeds By Country Almost Downloaded, Turnbull Says
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Hanson Rushed To Hospital After Shaking Hands With Mark Latham
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Your definitive guide to the horses most likely to be shot after today’s big race
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Virgin Australia Passengers To Be Asked To Sing National Anthem Before Take Off
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Sky News Says Ross Cameron Failed To Meet Standards Of Racism Expected At Network
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Peter Dutton Dresses Up As Himself In Terrifying Halloween Prank
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Fraser Anning ‘Not The Right Kind Of Racist’, Bob Katter Says
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“I’m Just A Regular, Fair Dinkum, Dinky Di, True Blue Aussie Bloke”: A Personal Message From Scott Morrison
G’day, Scott Morrison here, your new PM. I’m getting in touch today because I want to tell you something really important. And that’s that I’m a regular, everyday, ordinary,...
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Palestine To Move Embassy From Canberra To The Shire, Just To Fuck With Scott Morrison
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‘Quotas For Woman Ridiculous’ Says Senator Whose Job Literally Relies On The Concept Of Quotas
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Dutton Dismisses ‘Job For Mates’ Allegation On Basis He Has No Mates
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Chelsea Manning Successfully Enters Australia Disguised As An Au Pair
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Turnbulls Move Out Of Cramped, Dingy 8-Bedroom Prime Minister’s Residence
Saying they were looking forward to having their own space again, the Turnbulls today started moving out of their poky little 8-bedroom apartment, ‘The Lodge’, and back to their...
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Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told
Mobile telephone devices come with a built-in speaker that you can hear when placed to your ear, it has been revealed.
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Energy Policy: Australia To Be Entirely Powered By Tony Abbott’s Bullshit By 2020
Tony Abbott’s ongoing bullsh*t will provide enough energy to power the nation for a generation, a Coalition policy report claims.
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The 2018 Shovel Annual Is Here
It was the year that our Deputy Prime Minister confessed he’d been drunk for the past 18 months, our biggest bank admitted it was collecting fees from dead people,...
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