Newly Capitalist China Still Learning How To Do Stock Market Crashes Properly

Conceding it was a good first attempt, the West today said China sill has a long way to go to pull off the world-class stock market disasters that have become second nature in traditional capitalist economies.

“They’re still learning, this is new for them,” a capitalist spokesperson said today. “It’s a solid start, but what we’d like to see is the panic dialled up much higher, the irrational behavior really ratcheted up. And a lot more cocaine”.

He said there was a concern that those in the finance industry in China were not yet being remunerated correctly. “Until Chinese bankers are getting paid bonuses to sell stocks they fundamentally don’t understand, we’ll need to still consider China as ‘in-training’”.

Analyst Tom Hughes agreed there was still a way to go for the China. “They say they’re not entirely sure what caused the crash. That suggests to me they understand more about what’s going on than they should”

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