July 22, 2014

Prince George’s First Steps Better Than Your Baby’s First Steps

Prince George’s first steps were superior in every way to your firstborn’s lame attempt at unaided movement, it has been

June 6, 2014

Aussies Shocked By Revelations About Britain’s Rolf Harris

Australians say they are stunned by the allegations made against British national treasure Rolf Harris

January 28, 2014

Queening To Be Outsourced To India

All functions of the British Monarchy will be run from a small factory in Mumbai, after local efforts failed to

November 24, 2013

Being Shit At Cricket Again ‘Like Putting On An Old, Warm Jumper’ English Fans Say

England fans say being 537 runs behind after three days of play feels better than they expected

June 25, 2013

“Seriously, You Guys Talk Some Sh*t”: David Cameron Displeased With Level Of Discourse On British Phone Calls

The UK could halve its national debt and almost triple its productivity if Brits didn’t spend so much time talking

April 9, 2013

British Public’s Memories Of Margaret Thatcher To Be Carved Up And Sold Off

In a final nod to the benefits of market capitalism, Baroness Thatcher has, on her deathbed, asked that all public

August 13, 2012

PM David Cameron asks the US to invade London “so we can test out all our new Olympic security arsenal”

With the Games now over and all Olympic security threats successfully avoided, British Prime Minster David Cameron wondered aloud yesterday

August 8, 2012

Thousands of Britons report feeling a strange, unfamiliar sensation: ‘winning’

GPs and hospitals around Britain have been inundated with calls from concerned residents who say they are experiencing ‘contentment’, ‘joy’

July 26, 2012

London 2012 queues “the best ever” according to British queue enthusiasts

There’s been a lot of focus on London’s world-class Olympic venues, but the queues for tickets – some up to

July 23, 2012

London Olympics opening ceremony to feature breathtaking re-enactments of British invasions

In Sydney it was giant thongs and Kylie Minogue, in Athens Greek Gods flying above the stadium and in Beijing

July 9, 2012

PM David Cameron cuts ties with Scotland after Andy Murray loses again

It was the final straw. For as long as Andy Murray looked like he might win a major tournament, the

May 22, 2012

Rebekah Brooks says she ‘can’t recall’ whether she left the iron on

Several key questions remained unanswered this morning after an eventful day at the Brooks’ Chipping Norton residence during which an