August 27, 2020

Tony Abbott Granted Special Leave To Totally Ruin Britain’s Department Of Trade

"The best way to improve the nation’s competitiveness is to immediately knight Prince Philip"

May 18, 2019

Tony Abbott Loses Tough Battle Against Formidable Opponent ‘The Year 2019’

Former Prime Minister Tony has conceded defeat in the seat of Warringah, after a long and hotly contested battle against

June 7, 2018

‘Western Culture Is Superior’, Tony Abbott Says, As Poo Jogger Puts Finishing Touches To 32nd Public Dump

In a busy news day yesterday, former Prime Minister Tony Abbott said Western culture was better than other cultures, and

May 1, 2018

Here’s The Official Apology From The ABC Regarding Their Description Of Tony Abbott

The ABC’s news division was today censured for describing Tony Abbott as ‘the most destructive politician of his generation’. Here

April 9, 2018

Abbott Makes Pitch For Leadership Return, In Dazzling 400-Flag Press Conference

“I have what it takes to lead this nation again,” Tony Abbott told journalists today, backed by 400 of his

October 17, 2017

Energy Policy: Australia To Be Entirely Powered By Tony Abbott’s Bullshit By 2020

Tony Abbott’s ongoing bullsh*t will provide enough energy to power the nation for a generation, a Coalition policy report claims

October 10, 2017

Abbott Takes On New Role As Spokesperson For Antarctica Tropical Resort Industry

In his inaugural speech for the Antarctica Tropical Resort Association (ATRA), Tony Abbott said that climate change is beneficial, particularly

October 10, 2017

Crazy, Ranting Man Claiming To Be Former Prime Minister Of Australia

A deranged, agitated man gate-crashed an event in London today, claiming he was once the head of an industrialised nation

September 29, 2017

Macklemore Dispute: Abbott Calls For More Pop Songs About Heterosexual Relationships

As the furore over US star Macklemore’s NRL grand final appearance continued, former PM Tony Abbott said it would be

December 15, 2016

Abbott Sustains Back Injury Lifting Parliamentary Entitlements

Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott has injured his back lifting parliamentary privileges. He forgot to bend his knees

November 28, 2016

Tony Abbott Says Cabinet Position Would Give Him And Government Best Chance Of Passing 2014 Budget

Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott has made it clear he would like to return to the front bench, saying it

April 4, 2016

Abbott Confirms He’ll Directly Confront Putin About Money Laundering Allegations

The tricky question of who will confront Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin about an alleged $2 billion tax-avoidance scheme has

March 11, 2016

The Week in 60 Seconds

Here’s what happened this week

March 9, 2016

“I Think For Myself” Credlin Tells Abbott To Say

“I am my own man and I make my own decisions,” a set of talking points written by Peta Credlin

March 6, 2016

Abbott Says He’ll Need To Check With Credlin Before Confirming Or Denying Their Affair

Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott says he will be happy to confirm or deny rumours of a relationship with his