All posts tagged "scott morrison jokes"
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Parliament Approves Urgent Leave For Politicians Who’ve Had Their Holidays Cut Short
The federal government has granted an additional four week’s paid leave to all politicians forced to return early from overseas holidays to do their jobs.
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Morrison Launches New Ad Campaign To Apologise For Previous Ad Campaign
Scott Morrison has apologised to anyone who was offended by his bushfire-related advertisement, in a slick new advertisement released today.
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Firefighters Given Vital Extra TV Commercials To Help Fight New Blazes
Firefighters were breathing a sigh of relief tonight after learning the Federal government had fast-tracked essential new propaganda ads, which will be used to help...
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Scomo Says The Nation’s Bushfire Situation Has Improved Today, With Australia 3 For 283 At Stumps.
Scott Morrison says the bushfire crisis gripping the nation is improving, with Australia making a solid start to the first day of the third test...
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ScoMo Volunteers To Join Firefighters In Hawaii, After House Fire Breaks Out Near Waikiki
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has volunteered to join fire fighters in Hawaii, after a house fire broke out near Waikiki beach.
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This Plumber Was Contracted To Do A Last-Minute Job At The Lodge, But Got Confused And Fucked Off To Hawaii For 7 Days
A plumber who was called in to do some urgent pre-Christmas repairs at Scott Morrison’s Canberra residence has followed the Prime Minister’s lead and pissed...
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“We Had A Fire Pit At Our Resort In Waikiki Actually”: Scomo Tries Out Phrases With Empathy Consultant, Before Touring Bushfire Affected Areas
Refreshed and reinvigorated after his Hawaii escape, Scott Morrison was throwing around a few ideas with his empathy consultant this morning, before meeting with Australians...
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NSW Fires Rebranded As ‘Strawberry Contamination’, In Hope Of Encouraging Scott Morrison To Take More Urgent Action
NSW fire chiefs have made the difficult decision to rename the bushfire crisis engulfing the state as a ‘strawberry contamination’, in the hope it may...
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7 Phrases Scott Morrison Learnt From His Empathy Consultant To Make Him Sound Like A Human Being
This week it was revealed that the Morrison government paid $190,000 to receive advice from empathy consultants. The Shovel can now reveal exclusive further detail...
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Most Of Scott Morrison’s 1.25 Million New Jobs Will Be In Short-Term Prime Ministerial Roles, Analysis Finds
An analysis of Scott Morrison’s pledge to create 1.25 million jobs over the next five years has found that the vast majority of those roles...
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Australians Who Don’t Have Fun On Australia Day To Be Fined, Morrison Says
Australians who are caught not revelling in the delight of Australia’s national day will receive a $149 on-the-spot fine, the government has confirmed.
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Santa Will Leave Lump Of Fair Dinkum Energy In Christmas Stocking If They Don’t Behave, Scott Morrison Warns Kids
Recalling the well-known Christmas story, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has told the nation’s children to be good in the lead up to Christmas, or risk...
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Morrison Responds To Everyday Concerns Of Australians By Recognising West Jerusalem As Israel’s Capital
Saying his government was switched on to the needs of middle Australia, Prime Minister Scott Morrison today announced that Australia would recognise West Jerusalem as...
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Scott Morrison Becomes Longest Serving Prime Minister Since Malcolm Turnbull
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has now been in the top job for longer than anyone since Malcolm Turnbull left the role in August. It makes...
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Scott Morrison Blames Labor For Victorian Election Landslide
Prime Minister Scott Morrison says Labor is to blame for the Coalition’s abysmal showing in the 2018 Victorian State Elections, warning voters that Labor may...
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