satirical website – The Shovel

Donald Trump Believes In Sanctity Of Being Married Three Times
By The Shovel on July 7, 2015
Billionaire and US Presidential candidate Donald Trump says marriage should be between a man and a woman, and then another woman, and then one more...
One Logical Gun Control Argument Is Shot Down Every Five Minutes In America, New Figures Show
By The Shovel on June 22, 2015
Thousands of well-thought-out and rational reasons for restricting firearms in the United States die every month, new research shows.
Rupert Murdoch Begins Handover Of 21st Century Fox, To Focus On Day to Day Running Of Australian Government
By The Shovel on June 17, 2015
Media mogul Rupert Murdoch has announced plans to step down as Chairman of entertainment giant 21st Century Fox, allowing him more time to spend on...
Labor Announces Point Of Difference With Fairer Bribing System Aimed At Low-Income Criminals
By The Shovel on June 16, 2015
In a policy announcement designed to provide voters with a distinct choice at the next election, The Labor Party today said it would direct the...
People Smuggling Now Best Way To Crack Sydney Property Market
By The Shovel on June 13, 2015
With house prices becoming increasingly unaffordable, more and more Australians are saving for their first home deposit by taking a gap year as an Indonesian...
New ‘Real Café™’ Nespresso Machine Comes With Beard
By The Shovel on June 2, 2015
Billed as “the closest thing to actually being in a café”, the new Nespresso coffee pod machine comes with bushy facial hair and silently judges...
God Forgets To Send Plague To Destroy Ireland
By The Shovel on May 25, 2015
The Almighty Father slept in this morning, missing the opportunity to punish Ireland for allowing two people of the same sex to get married.
Apple Unveils Sleek New Tax Haven
By The Shovel on April 9, 2015
Apple CEO Tim Cook today announced the company’s latest offering – a beautifully designed offshore tax-avoidance scheme, named the iHaven.
Fast & Furious 7 “The Best Fast & Furious Film So Far This Year” Say Critics
By The Shovel on March 31, 2015
Film critics have praised new action drama Fast & Furious 7, with some saying it is the franchise’s best instalment in months.
At 9am This Morning Christopher Pyne Started Singing ‘I Know A Song That Will Get On Your Nerves’. He Won’t Stop Until His Education Reforms Are Passed
By The Shovel on March 17, 2015
In what may well be his most sophisticated negotiation tactic yet, Education Minister Christopher Pyne this morning staged a lock-in at Parliament house, threatening to...
Fears Current Cricket World Cup May Not Finish Before Next Cricket World Cup
By The Shovel on March 16, 2015
The Cricket World Cup could still be going in 2019, experts fear.
Kanye West To Spend Valentines Day With The Love Of His Life. And Kim Kardashian
By The Shovel on February 13, 2015
Rapper Kayne West says he is blessed to be able to spend the most romantic day of the year with the most important person in...
Arthur Sinodinos Says He ‘Can’t Recall’ Whether He Supports Abbott Or Not
By The Shovel on February 5, 2015
Former Government Minister and Howard advisor Arthur Sinodinos says the Prime Minister may or may not have his backing, but he can’t remember.
Tom Waterhouse To Be Put Down
By The Shovel on January 20, 2015
Bookmaker Tom Waterhouse will be humanely destroyed.
90% Of IKEA Customers Funnelled Offshore
By The Shovel on November 6, 2014
Only one in ten customers who entered an IKEA store in the 2013/14 financial year remained in Australia, with the rest channelled to Luxembourg, it...

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