All posts tagged "satirical website"
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Mt Everest Promises To Install Second ATM
Mt Everest authorities have responded to the frustrations of climbers queuing for cash, saying they will install a second ATM on the mountain before the...
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Woman Mistakenly Thinks Friends Give Shit About Her Holiday
In what has been described as a gross misunderstanding, a Brisbane women somehow assumed her friends were interested in seeing 141 photos of her sipping...
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Scott Morrison Finally Responds To Murray-Darling Crisis By Moving Israeli Embassy To Jerusalem
After more than a week of silence on the issue, Prime Minister Scott Morrison today responded to the Murray-Darling Basin disaster that has shocked the...
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“We Broke Royal Baby News Six Months Ago” Woman’s Day Reminds Readers
A frustrated editor of tabloid magazine Woman’s Day has reminded readers that her journalists first broke the story of Harry and Meghan’s pregnancy back in...
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AFL Boss Reveals Grand Final Half Time Entertainment
AFL chief Gillon McLachlan has once again shown his common touch, revealing a four-a-side polo comp as the centrepiece of this year’s Grand Final half...
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Wet Cardboard Box Announces It Will Run As Third, More Charismatic Consensus Candidate
A soggy old box in an alleyway near Parliament House has come forward as a viable alternative to Peter Dutton, saying it would run on...
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Royal Carriage Fitted With Third Child Seat
Prince William was this morning trying to get the child seat strap to reach the bloody anchor bolt in his Grandma’s old carriage.
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Gold Coast Insecurity Threat Level “Critical” As Actual Athletes Arrive
Gold Coast residents have been warned to stay indoors and avoid social media this week as 4460 actual athletes descend on the #instafit city for...
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Masked British Election Candidate Actually Kevin Rudd, Sources Say
Kevin Rudd has attempted to enter UK politics disguised as Lord Buckethead, it has been revealed.
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Migrants Failing To Assimilate, 200-Year-Study Finds
Migrants to Australia have displayed an inability to assimilate with local values and refuse to speak anything but their native tongue, a study covering the...
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Women, Black People To Be Barred From Plebiscite, In Order To Preserve ‘Traditional’ Definition Of Voting
Only white men over the age of 21 will be eligible to vote in the upcoming same-sex marriage plebiscite, in keeping with the traditional definition...
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Britain’s ‘Leave’ Voters Cleverly Deter Migrants By Destroying Economy
Migration laws will no longer need to change under an independent Britain, because no-one will want to go there to work anyway.
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Authorities Shoot & Kill Lego Character After Boy Falls Into Enclosure
A rare 4-foot tall Lego character has been shot and killed at an exhibition in China after a small boy broke through a security rope...
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Scott Morrison Looking Forward To Reading Budget Tonight For First Time
Saying he had no idea what to expect, Treasurer Scott Morrison was eagerly awaiting 7:30pm tonight when he’ll see what Malcolm Turnbull has written for...
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Abbott Confirms He’ll Directly Confront Putin About Money Laundering Allegations
The tricky question of who will confront Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin about an alleged $2 billion tax-avoidance scheme has been answered this evening, with...
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