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Posts Tagged ‘satire’

Tonga tsunami crisis: Morrison commits one million curry recipes
"That's on top of the recipes already announced"
Djokovic begins French Open preparations, with plans to contract COVID in early May
"I've been working a lot on my timing"
Australians annoyed that English cricketers can get test results within 3 days
"I've been waiting for my test result for over a week"
Australian Government to cancel Nadal’s visa to keep focus off RATs shortage
"We'll deport Ash Barty if that's what it takes"
Government now claiming Djokovic bought $15k of Cartier watches
"I am absolutely appalled by this"
Government deports itself for stoking anti-vax sentiment
"The Government is a risk to civil order and public health"
Last-minute reprieve allows Pastor Djokovic to attend two-week ‘Aust Open Church Youth Camp’
“It’s a youth camp. It’s definitely not an international tennis tournament”.
NSW Police demand Hillsong stop playing music: “Nothing to do with COVID – the music is just fucking awful”
"No-one should be subjected to this utter shit"
Morrison confirms order of 10 million RATs, encourages other Australian families to do the same
"This should give Australians reassurance that I have what I need"
Government waiting for Rapid Anti-Djokovic Polling before fucking up next move
"We need to stumble into the next crisis with certainty"
NSW introduces more efficient ‘Tell us if you don’t have COVID’ reporting app
"We're expecting literally dozens of people to tell us they're negative"
“We’re actually professional tennis players” immigration detainees say
“We came here to play the 2013 Australian Open. Sorry, we probably should’ve mentioned that at the time”
Governor General contracts COVID-19 despite self isolating for the past 2.5 years
"COVID has managed to find the Governor General when none of the rest of us could"
Morrison says Government is ‘prepared and ready’ for new Delta strain of COVID-19
“Our message to Australians is – ‘We’re ready’”
Harvey Norman wins contract to run Australian hospitals
"We got some CRAZY deals on open heart surgery!"

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