April 18, 2019

Apple Unveils Plans To Revitalise Notre Dame Precinct With New Flagship Store

Saying it would become an iconic new destination the likes of which have never been seen in France, Apple has

February 25, 2019

Gastroenterologist Katie Allen Enters Politics To Work With Even Bigger Arseholes

Gastroenterologist Katie Allen has been pre-selected to contest the safe Liberal seat of Higgins, saying she is looking forward to

January 25, 2019

Matthew Flinders Dies After Waiting Two Hundred Years For A Fucking Train

Explorer Matthew Finders has passed away after waiting two centuries for a train at Euston Station in London

May 11, 2017

Man Who Threw Pie At Alan Joyce Sentenced To 24 Hours On A Jetstar Flight

The man who smashed a cream pie into Qantas CEO Alan Joyce’s face has been ordered to spend an entire day in Jetstar

May 11, 2017

New FBI Chief Named

Barron Trump has been named the new head of the FBI, following an extensive search that spanned the entire Trump

March 4, 2017

These Pics Of A Young Donald Trump Are Breaking The Internet

Forget young Justin Trudeau or young Joe Biden, a collection of pictures of Donald Trump in his junior days is

January 31, 2017

US Travel Ban: Muslim-Americans Follow Lead Of Republicans By Pretending To Be Christian

With many Muslims now banned from entering the United States, some have been left with no choice but to pretend

January 6, 2017

Sussan Ley Nips Down To Shops To Buy Milk, Spontaneously Buys Shop As Well

Health Minister Sussan Ley has impulse-purchased a shop, on a trip to the shops today

December 18, 2016

Last Resort: Syrian Rebels Consider Launching Devastating Online Petition

After more than 5 years of armed conflict, Syrian rebels are turning to increasingly drastic measures, with some now considering

November 30, 2016

Australia Falls 4 Places – From 18th to 28th – In International Maths Rankings

In a wake-up call for the nation’s educators, Australia has plummeted on the international maths rankings tables for students, falling to

November 20, 2016

We Analysed Donald Trump’s And Adolf Hitler’s Tweets – The Similarities Will Shock You

Many comparisons have been made between America’s President-elect and the German Nazi leader. Most have been dismissed as sensationalist, misleading,

November 6, 2016

Melbourne To Be Completely Rebuilt After Being Accidentally Destroyed By Developers

The city of Melbourne will be rebuilt piece by piece after an embarrassing blunder that saw the entire city ruined

August 15, 2016

Mirabella Says Election Loss Deprived Wangaratta Of $10 Billion Iron-Ore Mine

Former Coalition MP Sophie Mirabella told a gathering today that by voting for independent Cathy McGowan, voters in Indi missed

August 14, 2016

Phelps Released Back Into Ocean

Saying he was ‘ready to go home’, a group of trainers today released Michael Phelps back into the wild today

August 7, 2016

World Enters Two-Week Period When Throwing Heavy Concrete Ball Deemed Normal

Twirling around in a circle and throwing a 7kg ball as far as you can while wearing a Lyrca suit