December 13, 2016

Jesus asks God if he can shift his birthday celebrations to July to avoid clash with Christmas

“People generally have other things on”

October 6, 2014

Men Who Will Never Be Married Meet To Decide Which Other People Can Never Be Married

A group of men who have vowed never to marry or have children will meet in Rome this week to

March 21, 2014

God Sends Westboro Baptist Church Founder Fred Phelps To Eternal Gay Mardi Gras

Fred Phelps Snr, the former pastor of the gay-hating Westboro Baptist Church, will spend at least the next 10,000 years

March 6, 2014

Pope Francis Just Glad It’s Almost The F*%king Weekend

Pope Francis says he’s looking forward to throwing back a few beers in front of the football on Friday night,

January 10, 2014

Jesus Wondering Whether He Should Tell Cory Bernardi About The Whole Joseph Thing

Christian figurehead Jesus Christ was today wondering whether he should tell Senator Cory Bernardi about the fact he was brought

August 9, 2013

Islam’s Prime Minister Hits Back At One Nation

The Prime Minister of Islam has defended his country’s views and launched an attack of his own, in response to

July 16, 2013

Invisible Things Are Ridiculous, Says Man Who Lives His Life According To Invisible Thing

A Sydney man who believes an invisible spiritual being created the earth, impregnated a woman and devised intricate views on

March 15, 2013

Catholics To Start Paying Their Hotel Bills

In a sign of allegiance to their new Pope, Catholics around the world have promised to pay their hotel bills

March 7, 2013

Applications Received So Far For Pope Job “Not All That Inspiring” Says God

In a media conference this morning God said that he was “a little disappointed” with the applications he’d received to

February 12, 2013

“I’ll Be Better Placed To Do Nothing About Clerical Child Abuse In Retirement”: The Pope Explains His Reasons For Quitting

Pope Benedict XVI announced last night that he will step down from the top Catholic post to allow him to

November 22, 2012

Queen’s Christmas Message Not Part Of Nativity Either, Pope Claims

Pope Benedict XVI has caused further controversy by claiming that the Queen’s Christmas message is a relatively recent tradition and

November 13, 2012

“Archbishop George Pell totally misunderstood my email” says Jesus

The son of God, Jesus of Nazareth, issued a statement this morning claiming Sydney Archbishop George Pell misinterpreted the meaning

September 11, 2012

Archbishop Peter Jensen proposes plain packaging for homosexuals

Last night on the ABC’s Q&A program, Sydney Archbishop Peter Jensen backed claims by the Australian Christian Lobby that leading

July 3, 2012

Tom Cruise to marry Oprah Winfrey’s couch in tasteful Scientology ceremony

It was one of the defining television moments of the last decade. Tom Cruise, with a new film about to

June 14, 2012

Christopher Hitchens’ ghost too embarrassed to admit he was wrong about the afterlife

The ghost of outspoken writer and atheist Christopher Hitchens was yesterday seen hiding behind a thicket of trees in his