All posts tagged "religion"
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Jesus Asks God if He Can Shift His Birthday Celebrations To July To Avoid Clash With Christmas
Saying it was unfair to be lumped with a birthday that falls so close to Christmas – or in his case, actually on Christmas day...
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Men Who Will Never Be Married Meet To Decide Which Other People Can Never Be Married
A group of men who have vowed never to marry or have children will meet in Rome this week to decide the various rules that...
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God Sends Westboro Baptist Church Founder Fred Phelps To Eternal Gay Mardi Gras
Fred Phelps Snr, the former pastor of the gay-hating Westboro Baptist Church, will spend at least the next 10,000 years on a ‘men-in-uniform’ themed Sydney...
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Pope Francis Just Glad It’s Almost The F*%king Weekend
Pope Francis says he’s looking forward to throwing back a few beers in front of the football on Friday night, after a fairly f*%king stressful...
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Jesus Wondering Whether He Should Tell Cory Bernardi About The Whole Joseph Thing
Christian figurehead Jesus Christ was today wondering whether he should tell Senator Cory Bernardi about the fact he was brought up by his step-dad, or...
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Islam’s Prime Minister Hits Back At One Nation
The Prime Minister of Islam has defended his country’s views and launched an attack of his own, in response to criticism from One Nation candidate...
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Invisible Things Are Ridiculous, Says Man Who Lives His Life According To Invisible Thing
A Sydney man who believes an invisible spiritual being created the earth, impregnated a woman and devised intricate views on what constitutes a family, says...
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Catholics To Start Paying Their Hotel Bills
In a sign of allegiance to their new Pope, Catholics around the world have promised to pay their hotel bills from now on.
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Applications Received So Far For Pope Job “Not All That Inspiring” Says God
In a media conference this morning God said that he was “a little disappointed” with the applications he’d received to date for the recently vacated...
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“I’ll Be Better Placed To Do Nothing About Clerical Child Abuse In Retirement”: The Pope Explains His Reasons For Quitting
Pope Benedict XVI announced last night that he will step down from the top Catholic post to allow him to spend more time doing nothing...
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Queen’s Christmas Message Not Part Of Nativity Either, Pope Claims
Pope Benedict XVI has caused further controversy by claiming that the Queen’s Christmas message is a relatively recent tradition and was not part of the...
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“Archbishop George Pell totally misunderstood my email” says Jesus
The son of God, Jesus of Nazareth, issued a statement this morning claiming Sydney Archbishop George Pell misinterpreted the meaning of an email Jesus sent...
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Archbishop Peter Jensen proposes plain packaging for homosexuals
Last night on the ABC’s Q&A program, Sydney Archbishop Peter Jensen backed claims by the Australian Christian Lobby that leading a homosexual lifestyle may be...
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Tom Cruise to marry Oprah Winfrey’s couch in tasteful Scientology ceremony
It was one of the defining television moments of the last decade. Tom Cruise, with a new film about to come out and a new...
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Christopher Hitchens’ ghost too embarrassed to admit he was wrong about the afterlife
The ghost of outspoken writer and atheist Christopher Hitchens was yesterday seen hiding behind a thicket of trees in his old hometown of Houston, struggling...
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