May 7, 2020

Andrew Bolt furiously penning think piece about how George Pell couldn’t possibly be expected to know that paedophilia was inappropriate

News Corp columnist Andrew Bolt was today putting the finishing touches to an opinion piece which will argue that people

April 8, 2020

Pell Back In Prison After Being Caught Eating A Kebab In A Park

George Pell is back behind bars tonight after being busted eating a late-night snack in public

April 7, 2020

BREAKING: Virus Released Into Community

Authorities are warning people to stay indoors after a nasty virus was released into the community today

October 24, 2019

Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 32 – Denies Facebook Has Problem With Fake News

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg – who died of heart complications at his Californian home today – says the proliferation of

December 22, 2018

Child Surprised To Learn Santa Dresses Up As Dad For Other 364 Days A Year

Local child Jackson Cummins says everything makes sense now, after learning that Santa Claus dresses up as his dad for

September 12, 2017

New iPhone 8 Battery Life Expanded To Accommodate Centrelink’s Average Hold Time

In a nod to its Australian customers, tech giant Apple has unveiled a new iPhone with a beefed up fourteen-hour

September 4, 2017

Outrage! North Korea Drops Nuclear Test Just DAYS After Taylor’s Single

In a twist no one saw coming, North Korea has thrown serious shade at T-Swift by releasing their nuclear test

August 29, 2017

Ronald McDonald Statues To Be Removed – Found To Be Offensive To Absolutely Everyone

More than 12,000 Ronald McDonald statues will be torn down over the next month after it was realised they were

August 28, 2017

Channel Ten To Air The Project Eleven Nights A Week, In Attempt To Reverse Ratings Decline

Channel Ten will extend its flagship news and entertainment program to a further five nights a week, as ratings across

August 25, 2017

Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds

Vaping decreases the risk of contracting cancer and fitting in socially, a report has found

August 8, 2017

Direct Correlation Between Shitness Of Ringtone And Time Taken To Find Phone In Handbag, Research Confirms

The more infantile a person’s ringtone, the longer it will take them to realise the phone is theirs, search through

July 27, 2017

New Paleo Bars Replicate The Convenience And Packaging Of Stone-Age Snack Foods

A new range of paleo bars replicate the ease, convenience and colourful packaging that cavemen would have been accustomed to,

July 25, 2017

Bieber Cancels World Tour Citing Unethical Conditions: “I Had To Listen To Justin Bieber Songs Every Night For Months”

Justin Bieber says a work contract which forced him to listen to truly appalling music night after night was unreasonable

July 20, 2017

“I Can’t Function In The Morning Without Telling People How Dependent I Am On Coffee”

Melbourne woman Lucy Bailey literally can’t get going in the morning until her third, or sometimes even fourth, conversation about coffee

July 13, 2017

Donald Trump Jr Says Meeting With Russia Was ‘Nyet Big Deal’

Claiming that his twenty minute meeting with a Russian lawyer was nothing more than a Простой разговор между двумя незнакомцами,