February 7, 2022

We’ve been leaked texts showing nudes of Peter Dutton

"We are unable to reveal our sauces"

February 4, 2022

PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING: If you are in the Mornington Peninsula, please cancel your bikini wax appointment immediately. Scott Morrison is in the area.

We have reason to believe he may be seeking other photo opportunities in the area

December 13, 2021

Weird family puts dead tree in corner of living room

Strange!

September 15, 2021

Man Who Remembers Bowl Of Prawns From 1988 Doesn’t Know Who Put Up To $1 Mil In His Bank Account

"I'm not across all of the detail, sorry"

June 1, 2021

We want to be careful not to reveal this person’s identity, but a senior government minister has massively fucked up his defamation case

Allegedly

November 3, 2020

Uncertain Melbourne Cup Punter To Just Choose Betting Agency Based On Name, Colours

“I quite like the name Centrebet. But I like UBet’s colours. Maybe I'll put a few dollars on each"

May 7, 2020

Andrew Bolt furiously penning think piece about how George Pell couldn’t possibly be expected to know that paedophilia was inappropriate

News Corp columnist Andrew Bolt was today putting the finishing touches to an opinion piece which will argue that people

April 8, 2020

Pell Back In Prison After Being Caught Eating A Kebab In A Park

George Pell is back behind bars tonight after being busted eating a late-night snack in public

April 7, 2020

BREAKING: Virus Released Into Community

Authorities are warning people to stay indoors after a nasty virus was released into the community today

December 22, 2018

Child surprised to learn that Santa dresses up as Dad for other 364 days a year

“Everything makes sense now"

September 12, 2017

New iPhone 8 Battery Life Expanded To Accommodate Centrelink’s Average Hold Time

In a nod to its Australian customers, tech giant Apple has unveiled a new iPhone with a beefed up fourteen-hour

September 4, 2017

Outrage! North Korea Drops Nuclear Test Just DAYS After Taylor’s Single

In a twist no one saw coming, North Korea has thrown serious shade at T-Swift by releasing their nuclear test

August 29, 2017

Ronald McDonald Statues To Be Removed – Found To Be Offensive To Absolutely Everyone

More than 12,000 Ronald McDonald statues will be torn down over the next month after it was realised they were

August 28, 2017

Channel Ten To Air The Project Eleven Nights A Week, In Attempt To Reverse Ratings Decline

Channel Ten will extend its flagship news and entertainment program to a further five nights a week, as ratings across

August 25, 2017

Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds

Vaping decreases the risk of contracting cancer and fitting in socially, a report has found