April 28, 2019

Shorten Forced To Ad-lib Conversation At Family Breakfast, After Advisor Forgets To Send Through Talking Points

Without a script or even a bullet list of talking points, Labor leader Bill Shorten was this morning forced to

July 7, 2016

Shorten Asks Advisers Whether He Can Stop Randomly Shouting ‘Medicare!’ Yet

Saying it was starting to get in the way of his day-to-day tasks, Opposition Leader Bill Shorten has asked Labor

June 27, 2016

Coalition Will Privatise Your Children Shorten Warns, In Desperate Last Ditch Scare Campaign

With Labor slipping in the polls, a frantic Bill Shorten today warned voters that Malcolm Turnbull has plans to sell

June 22, 2016

Spokesman In Labor Ad Not An Actor, Australians Shocked To Learn

The man portraying a struggling politician in a series of Labor campaign advertisements is not a paid actor, as was

June 20, 2016

Shorten Whips Labor Faithful Into Frenzy Of Moderate Excitement

Channeling the inspiring words of Keating and Hawke, just without the charisma, Labor leader Bill Shorten had his party’s faithful

June 9, 2016

Bill Shorten To Scrap Entire GST System To Avoid Having To Talk About Tampons

Australia will not have a goods and services tax if a Labor Government is elected, following Bill Shorten’s pledge to dismantle the system

June 2, 2016

Poll Shows 49% Of People Would Vote For Bill Shorten If They Knew Who He Was

Pressure is mounting on Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, with a poll today finding that almost half of all Australians would

March 6, 2016

The Shovel Academy: How To Front A Royal Commission Or Government Enquiry

Perhaps your organisation has been busted hacking a schoolgirl’s phone. Or maybe you lived and worked with dozens of child

January 13, 2016

Lonely Bill Shorten Spends Final Hour Of Supermarket Tour Just Chatting To Self-Checkout Machine

After running out of conversation with humans, Bill Shorten finished up the second day of his three-week tour of supermarkets

January 5, 2016

Bill Shorten Begins Year By Personally Writing To Each Of His Supporters

Opposition Leader Bill Shorten sat down over a coffee this morning to hand-write a personalised note to the dozens of

November 19, 2015

Turnbull’s Popularity Just A 40-Country, Multi-Activity, Extended ‘Round-The-World Honeymoon, Labor Says

The Coalition’s bounce in the polls is nothing more than a honeymoon – one of those honeymoons you sometimes hear

October 19, 2015

Poll Boost Sees Shorten Firm As Australia’s Preferred Opposition Leader

Labor Leader Bill Shorten has leapt ahead in recent polling, with the majority of Australians backing him as the best

October 15, 2015

Bill Shorten Invoiced Nation For Imaginary ‘Opposition Leader’ Work, Source Claims

Labor MP Bill Shorten has been accused of issuing dodgy invoices for work that was only partially, or in most

September 23, 2015

Shorten Relieved It’s No Longer A Contest Of Personalities

Opposition Leader Bill Shorten is massively relieved that the next election will not be contested on the basis of personality

June 16, 2015

Labor Announces Point Of Difference With Fairer Bribing System Aimed At Low-Income Criminals

In a policy announcement designed to provide voters with a distinct choice at the next election, The Labor Party today