All posts tagged "bill shorten jokes"
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Shorten Forced To Ad-lib Conversation At Family Breakfast, After Advisor Forgets To Send Through Talking Points
Without a script or even a bullet list of talking points, Labor leader Bill Shorten was this morning forced to think of his own things...
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Shorten Asks Advisers Whether He Can Stop Randomly Shouting ‘Medicare!’ Yet
Saying it was starting to get in the way of his day-to-day tasks, Opposition Leader Bill Shorten has asked Labor strategists if there’s still any...
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Coalition Will Privatise Your Children Shorten Warns, In Desperate Last Ditch Scare Campaign
With Labor slipping in the polls, a frantic Bill Shorten today warned voters that Malcolm Turnbull has plans to sell off anyone under the age...
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Spokesman In Labor Ad Not An Actor, Australians Shocked To Learn
The man portraying a struggling politician in a series of Labor campaign advertisements is not a paid actor, as was widely believed.
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Shorten Whips Labor Faithful Into Frenzy Of Moderate Excitement
Channeling the inspiring words of Keating and Hawke, just without the charisma, Labor leader Bill Shorten had his party’s faithful raising out of their chairs...
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Bill Shorten To Scrap Entire GST System To Avoid Having To Talk About Tampons
Australia will not have a goods and services tax if a Labor Government is elected, following Bill Shorten’s pledge to dismantle the system in its entirety today.
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Poll Shows 49% Of People Would Vote For Bill Shorten If They Knew Who He Was
Pressure is mounting on Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, with a poll today finding that almost half of all Australians would vote for Bill Shorten if...
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The Shovel Academy: How To Front A Royal Commission Or Government Enquiry
Perhaps your organisation has been busted hacking a schoolgirl’s phone. Or maybe you lived and worked with dozens of child abuses but totally forgot to...
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Lonely Bill Shorten Spends Final Hour Of Supermarket Tour Just Chatting To Self-Checkout Machine
After running out of conversation with humans, Bill Shorten finished up the second day of his three-week tour of supermarkets talking to a Woolworths self service...
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Bill Shorten Begins Year By Personally Writing To Each Of His Supporters
Opposition Leader Bill Shorten sat down over a coffee this morning to hand-write a personalised note to the dozens of Australians who say they would...
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Turnbull’s Popularity Just A 40-Country, Multi-Activity, Extended ‘Round-The-World Honeymoon, Labor Says
The Coalition’s bounce in the polls is nothing more than a honeymoon – one of those honeymoons you sometimes hear about where the bride and...
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Poll Boost Sees Shorten Firm As Australia’s Preferred Opposition Leader
Labor Leader Bill Shorten has leapt ahead in recent polling, with the majority of Australians backing him as the best person not to be Prime...
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Bill Shorten Invoiced Nation For Imaginary ‘Opposition Leader’ Work, Source Claims
Labor MP Bill Shorten has been accused of issuing dodgy invoices for work that was only partially, or in most cases, never delivered.
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Shorten Relieved It’s No Longer A Contest Of Personalities
Opposition Leader Bill Shorten is massively relieved that the next election will not be contested on the basis of personality.
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Labor Announces Point Of Difference With Fairer Bribing System Aimed At Low-Income Criminals
In a policy announcement designed to provide voters with a distinct choice at the next election, The Labor Party today said it would direct the...
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