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Posts Tagged ‘Australian satire’
October 28, 2021
Government shows commitment to reducing waste by developing environmental policy on back of envelope
"The Coalition is very committed to doing the absolute least required"
October 26, 2021
Man announces he will quit drinking by 2050
He has assured friends it will not affect his drinking plans in the short or medium term
September 16, 2021
Daniel Andrews Refuses To Scrap 9pm Curfew But Agrees To Let Melburnians Read In Bed Until 9:30
"This is not an invitation to stay up all night"
September 2, 2021
Morrison Calls Inquiry To Determine Whether He Knew He Was Prime Minister At Time Of Brittany Higgins Assault
"It's possible nobody knew"
September 1, 2021
‘Vaccine Swap’: Singapore Furious To Discover They Will Be ‘First In Line’ To Receive Pfizer Doses From Australia
The clause means Singapore won't receive the return doses until
August 19, 2021
Australia Offers Immediate Asylum To All Au Pairs Trapped In Afghanistan
"It's desperate. Do you know how hard it is to get a full-time nanny these days?”"
July 22, 2021
Remorseful Scott Morrison Says He Is Willing To Accept Responsibility For Brisbane’s Successful Olympics Bid
“This one’s on me. Not the bid committee, not the Queensland Premier. I have to own this"
July 8, 2021
Army To Draw On Iraq, Afghanistan Experience – Expects To Have Vaccine Rollout Complete In 19 Years
"It will be mission accomplished within weeks, or by 2040 at the latest"
June 24, 2021
‘Whoops! I Forgot To Buy Enough Vaccines’, By Greg Hunt
"The truth is, I did intend to buy more. But then I saw this great offer for a cheaper vaccine, and I thought, well if you’re going to scrimp on something, this is the thing to do it on"
June 8, 2021
Now that we know the government spends its time trawling through The Shovel’s tweets, we’ve started posting data that it might find useful …
Hello government ministers! Please find below our tweets, packed with useful analysis and information. We hope this service is of
March 22, 2021
House Floating Down Sydney Street Sells For $3 Million
“You won’t find a 3-bedroom terrace in Sydney for less than this"
March 15, 2021
Christian Porter Agrees To Meet With March4Justice Organisers If They’ll Iron His Shirt First
"You’ll get to feel like you’ve been heard by the nation’s highest law officer and I’ll get some nicely pressed shirts"
December 22, 2020
Scott Morrison wishes Australians a merry Christmas “From me, Jen and the whole image management team”
"A time to come together with your family, makeup artists and professional photographers"
November 10, 2020
Liberal Ministers Reaffirm Position That Marriage Is A Sacred Union Between A Woman, A Man And His Bit On The Side
"It's about giving a child a biological mother and father. And a step mother and a half sister,”
October 30, 2020
Trick-or-treater to dress up as ‘Marginal Liberal Electorate’ in order to get bigger handouts
"Going as a skeleton isn't going to net you the cash required to upgrade your rowing club is it?"
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