May 8, 2015

Maurice Newman Is A Hoax, Sources Confirm

Tony Abbott’s chief business advisor Maurice Newman is an elaborate prank, it has been revealed

May 5, 2015

Abbott To Present Royal Baby With Australia’s Very Best Piece Of Coal

Australia’s official gift to the new-born daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will be the nation’s most beautiful

April 27, 2015

Hockey Meets With Cabinet To Start Developing Next Year’s Budget Backdowns

Treasurer Joe Hockey met with senior ministers today to start formulating the key 2015 budgetary measures that will be humiliatingly

April 20, 2015

Malcolm Turnbull Downs A Glass Of 1998 Bordeaux In Under 26 Minutes

Communications Minister Malcolm Turnbull has shown his lighter side, finishing a glass of limited release Bordeaux and a bowl of

April 17, 2015

Little Boy Not Giving Victoria Its Funding Back Until They Let Him Play With His Cars

A fifty-seven year-old little boy says he will keep Victoria’s transport funding locked up in a secret box underneath his

March 11, 2015

Tony Abbott “Sick And Tired” Of Being Held To First World Standards

The Prime Minister is totally fed up with being bullied into meeting the expectations of morally-developed nations

February 11, 2015

Abbott To Re-Scrap Carbon Tax

Eager to stamp his authority and set a clear direction for his Government after the recent leadership scare, Prime Minister

February 2, 2015

A Week From Hell: The Tony Abbott Diaries

It was a ragged week for the Prime Minister. We were lucky enough to get a peek at his diaries

February 1, 2015

Tony Abbott Confident He’ll Lead Liberal Party Until At Least 1959

Dismissing leadership speculation as ‘nonsense’, Tony Abbott says he is determined to lead the country well into the last century

January 26, 2015

Knighthoods Actually A Real Policy

Prime Minister Tony Abbott wasn’t joking when he announced plans to reintroduce Knights and Dames last year, it has emerged

November 16, 2014

Abbott To Address G20 Leaders On Parking Issues In His Warringah Electorate

Tony Abbott will use his closing address at the G20 Summit in Brisbane today to shine a light on the

November 4, 2014

‘I Occasionally Eat Coal’ Admits Abbott

Prime Minister Tony Abbott conceded today that he enjoys eating coal from time to time, describing the popular fossil fuel

October 17, 2014

We’ll Help Fight Ebola If You Let Us Bomb It, Government Says

The Australian Government has told the international community that it is happy to help the fight against Ebola, as long

October 8, 2014

Government Stresses It Can’t Comment On Operational Matters Regarding Last Night’s 8:57pm Aborted Air Strike By Three Super Hornet Jets Near The Small Syrian Border Town Of Kobane

Citing the obvious dangers of revealing precise details of Australia’s operations, a spokesperson made it clear to a packed press

October 2, 2014

Government’s Budget Problems To Be Covered With Giant Burqa

The GP co-payment, changes to welfare, and a range of other unpopular budget measures will be concealed beneath a fully-enclosed