November 29, 2021

Scott Morrison responds to Omicron variant by promising to build a quarantine facility in 2060

"It gives us hope that we’ll be able to defeat this new strain four decades after it peters out on its own accord"

November 17, 2021

Scott asks Jenny to clarify if protestors should call for Andrews to be hanged or not

"Jenny has a way of clarifying things"

November 3, 2021

Morrison sets target for net zero allies by end of climate summit

"The plan will rely on innovation"

October 12, 2021

IKEA To Release Exciting New Range Of ‘Stackable ALP Branches’

The perfect way to get your house or political party under control.

June 25, 2021

Government “Blindsided” By UN Report Containing Information Scientists Screamed At Them For A Decade

"We were not aware of the 23,415 previous recommendations"

June 14, 2021

Biden And Johnson Pose For Photo With Competition Winner

“I can’t remember his name, but he seemed like a nice fellow".

May 31, 2021

Greg Hunt Reassures Nursing Home Residents That He Was Vaccinated In March

"You can rest easy knowing that 100% of federal health ministers are now fully vaccinated"

May 11, 2021

$230 Billion In Budget Earmarked For Empathy Training

"This is a national crisis"

March 28, 2021

MPs Should Be Chosen On Merit, Not Quotas, Says Man Who Can’t Count To 43

"We need the best and brightest people across all eleven states"

March 12, 2021

Christian Porter Arrested After Robodebt Finds He Owes $6 On His HECS Bill

"It's important that we follow the rule of law"

March 2, 2021

Aged Care Home Announces Plans To Build $500 Million War Memorial, In Order To Get Proper Government Funding

"It will include a meals area, lawn bowls rink, movie theatre and 4,000 residential rooms".

January 12, 2021

“People Should Be Able To Say Whatever They Want, Unless It’s About Me In Filipino Strip Clubs”, George Christensen Says

"Say what you want, unless it's about the 28 times I visited titty bars"

November 24, 2020

OPINION: Scott Morrison Has Chosen An Odd Year To Take Off

Running the country hasn’t grabbed Morrison’s attention in the same way that, say, using a sexist trope to name a group of chickens has

October 23, 2020

Morrison Drops Investigation Into Aus Post CEO After She Agrees To Gift $1 Million To Mosman Rowing Club Instead

“The helicopter pad is in need of repair and the chesterfields need reupholstering"

October 9, 2020

Understanding Government Spending In Australia

There’s been a bit of confusion lately about the difference between a government surplus and a government deficit, and how that relates to good economic management in Australia. This simple economics lesson from The Shovel explains how it works