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BREAKING: Kanye West Wins First Presidential Debate
“88% of swinging voters said Kanye West was the most coherent of the three candidates"
Genius Businessman Owes $420 Million
"Very few people know how to take a $400 million inheritance and turn it into a value many, many times smaller than that"
“If COVID-19 had been called ‘A-Vacancy-On-The-Supreme-Court’ US Republicans would’ve sorted it out within a week”
“We would’ve had a list of a dozen potential solutions on the table within 24 hours"
Trump Orders Flags To Fly At 41% Mast, To Mark Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s Death
"I'm told she was quite talented, for a woman".
Barron Trump Confirmed As Next Supreme Court Justice
Insiders say Barron Trump is ‘uniquely qualified for the role'.
Trump Says Californian Wildfires Due To High Coronavirus Testing Rates
“You don’t test, you don’t get fires"
QAnon Still Living With His Mum
The shadowy figure supposedly protecting the world against a cabal of Satan-worshipping paedophile celebrities who are trafficking children for their blood – is actually Nigel Grintly, a 34 year-old unemployed computer programmer from Iowa
Trump vows to end violence and destruction that’s become rampant under current President
Donald Trump has assured voters that he will clean up the chaos that has become part of everyday life under the current president
Tony Abbott Granted Special Leave To Totally Ruin Britain’s Department Of Trade
"The best way to improve the nation’s competitiveness is to immediately knight Prince Philip"
Trump Outlines Plans For Second Season
In a rousing speech at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump said he was confident the Trump Presidency would be
Kim Jong-Un Dies Again
In what has become an inconvenient distraction from his leadership, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un died again this week, making it the fourth time he has passed away this year
Melania Trump’s before-and-after pics of her Oval Office redecoration have everyone talking
Following her controversial update of the Rose Garden, First Lady Melania Trump has unveiled the changes she has made to the Oval Office, revealing a new look that she says captures the unique character of her husband’s presidency
Trump supporters are slashing their tyres in support of the President’s Goodyear boycott
“Real patriots drive with Yokohamas”
Trump calls emergency meeting to come up with sexist nickname for Kamala Harris
Donald Trump has cut short a Florida golf trip to urgently assemble a short-list of misogynistic slurs for Democratic vice presidential candidate Kamala Harris
Mount Rushmore Announces Plans To Add Face Of Barack Obama, Just To Fuck With Trump
"It’s like taunting a toddler – so much fun!”