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G7 Reconvene To Congratulate Scott Morrison On Not Shitting His Pants
“It’s not every day that a nation's leader confirms the exciting news that he knows how to use a toilet"
Britney Spears’s Dad To Take Control Of Australia’s Vaccine Rollout, After Government Found Unfit To Manage Own Affairs
"The conservatorship starts immediately"
Australia Accused Of Human Rights Abuses After Pledging To Send Jacob’s Creek To Britain
“That's not how friends treat friends"
Biden And Johnson Pose For Photo With Competition Winner
“I can’t remember his name, but he seemed like a nice fellow".
Bill And Melinda Gates’s Marriage Has Encountered A Problem And Needs To Close
Melinda Gates was philosophical about the end of her marriage of nearly three decades: “When one window closes, another one opens. And then all the windows you had open inexplicably close, you lose a day’s work and you get asked if you’d like to send an error report”
India Changes Name To ‘Aspen’ To Enable Australian Citizens To Fly Home
Rahul Chakrabarti, who now goes by the name ‘Novak Djokovic’, said he had no issues passing through immigration.
Media Mourns End Of Prince Philip Stories
“It was a news event cut tragically short"
Making Inappropriate Jokes Is What Prince Philip Would Have Wanted
“Sure, many of his jokes didn’t age well. But then neither did he”
Prince Philip Died Because Meghan Markle Murdered Him, Daily Mail Reporting
"She was wearing an ugly dress when it happened, and it looks like she’s put on weight too”
Prince Philip Died 12 Years Ago, Coroner Confirms
“There are no signs of life" the report from 2009 says
Meghan Markle Accused Of Not Scraping Her Plate Before Putting It In Dishwasher
Buckingham Palace is investigating
Republicans Discover Dangerous New ‘Covid-19’ Virus Sweeping America
“Why have the Democrats done nothing to stop this new 'COVID-19' virus which has been devastating the nation since Wednesday?”
Rambling, Deranged Florida Man Claiming To Be President Of United States
A Florida man, believed to be in his 70s, has been telling passers by that he is the leader of
Trump Leaves Poignant Letter For Biden, Reminding Him That His Ratings On The Apprentice Were Very, Very High
"It is the highest honour for an American citizen to receive six, sometimes seven million viewers per week"
America Breathes Sigh Of Relief After Inaugurating Reassuringly Mediocre President
“Biden is just so – adequate!"