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USA announces plans to invade extremist theocratic state ‘USA’
“This is a barbarous, medieval regime restricting the rights of its people”
Starbucks to punish Russians by continuing to operate all 130 Russian stores
“We’ll continue to subject Russians to our Pumpkin-Spiced Lattes”
Putin furious to discover he still has small dick
"I bomb sovereign nation and still I have tiny penis!"
Australia sends Tony Abbott to have man-to-man with Putin
"Let's see if we can't sort this out over a beer and a few onions"
Australian tanks and submarines to help hold Ukraine border in 2052
"We'll be there on the front lines. In As soon as our tanks are ready".
Newly-discovered drawings show Egyptians complaining Wordle ruined by New York Times
"Is that even a word!?"
Tonga tsunami crisis: Morrison commits one million curry recipes
"That's on top of the recipes already announced"
Mary and Joseph denied entry to inn after failing to get negative COVID test 72 hours prior to arrival in Bethlehem
“The queues for testing are fucking ridiculous"
Long delays expected after Santa required to check in at every fucking chimney
“Each jurisdiction has a different check-in app. It’s a nightmare"
Death from Omicron may be just as fatal as death from Delta, study finds
"Media outlets were quick to interpret the findings"
Time to fuck off now, world tells COVID
"Seriously, just fuck off"
United States tests positive for Barnaby Joyce
"The ‘Barnicron’ variant is believed to be more mutant than previous strains"
Dutton declares war on China in 2040
"As soon as we have our submarines, you’re fucked”
Australia to build $5 billion clay shooting club in Paris, in effort to mend relationship with France
"It's a proven way to cement a relationship"
America – please help liberate Australia. Donate now!
Just $100 can buy us a nice brunch for four at our local café