Follow The Shovel



Highly Contagious, Deadly Virus Wears Face Mask in Public For First Time
A virus described by experts as ‘erratic’, ‘nasty’ and ‘unpredictable’ has been seen wearing a mask in public for the
Self-Obsessed Reality TV Star To Run For President
Kanye West has also thrown his hat into the ring
US Could Have Avoided COVID-19 Entirely If They Hadn’t Done Testing
Donald Trump’s recent claim that testing rates have exacerbated the coronavirus in the US appear to be correct, with new
Second Half Of 2020 Won’t Be As Good As First Half, God Warns
“Wait until you see the plague of blood-sucking emus. Also the Queen gets cancelled”
America to stop measuring gun-related deaths in an effort to eradicate gun crime
US President Donald Trump says the nation’s gun crime will plummet thanks to a new policy which will see gun-related
British Protesters Throw Prince Philip In River After Mistaking Him For Racist Statue
Protesters have dragged Prince Phillip through the streets of London and thrown him into the Thames, after mistaking him for
Trump confirms that favourite part of Bible is when hungry caterpillar eats piece of chocolate cake
“Jesus was a wonderful author – he really was".
NRA Accidentally Forgets To Rise Up Against Tyrannical Government
“This is the one we’ve been talking about! Damn it!”
US Medical Workers Are Signing Up As Police Officers So They Can Get Proper PPE
Doctors, nurses and other medical staff across America have been joining the police force in part time roles, so they
A tip for protesters at the White House: If you say you’re called ‘The Coronavirus’ the President won’t do anything to stop you
“You’ll literally be able to do whatever the fuck you want for three weeks"
Republican Americans nostalgic for more peaceful time when protesters stormed government buildings armed with semi-automatic weapons
Fed up with the growing violence in their streets, many Republican voters are wishing the George Floyd rioters could follow
Americans Starting To Get Tired Of All This Winning
Americans are not sure they can handle all of the winning that has occurred since Donald Trump became President, it
Twitter has hired a dedicated team to fact-check Donald Trump’s tweets and the unemployment rate in America is now zero
Following its announcement that it would start fact-checking Donald Trump’s tweets, Twitter has put together a crack team of 23
“When I want to test my eyesight, I jump behind the wheel of a moving vehicle”, by Dominic Cummings
There has been a lot of speculation and innuendo about my movements throughout April during the time I was sick
You Think Coronavirus Is Bad? Wait Until The Bill Gates Conspiracy Theorists Hear About Track Changes
Using 5G technology to create a global pandemic so you can use vaccinations to mind-control a global population is bad.