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Media Mourns End Of Prince Philip Stories
“It was a news event cut tragically short"
Making Inappropriate Jokes Is What Prince Philip Would Have Wanted
“Sure, many of his jokes didn’t age well. But then neither did he”
Prince Philip Died Because Meghan Markle Murdered Him, Daily Mail Reporting
"She was wearing an ugly dress when it happened, and it looks like she’s put on weight too”
Prince Philip Died 12 Years Ago, Coroner Confirms
“There are no signs of life" the report from 2009 says
Meghan Markle Accused Of Not Scraping Her Plate Before Putting It In Dishwasher
Buckingham Palace is investigating
Republicans Discover Dangerous New ‘Covid-19’ Virus Sweeping America
“Why have the Democrats done nothing to stop this new 'COVID-19' virus which has been devastating the nation since Wednesday?”
Rambling, Deranged Florida Man Claiming To Be President Of United States
A Florida man, believed to be in his 70s, has been telling passers by that he is the leader of
Trump Leaves Poignant Letter For Biden, Reminding Him That His Ratings On The Apprentice Were Very, Very High
"It is the highest honour for an American citizen to receive six, sometimes seven million viewers per week"
America Breathes Sigh Of Relief After Inaugurating Reassuringly Mediocre President
“Biden is just so – adequate!"
San Diego Zookeepers Knew Something Wrong When Gorillas Started Hoarding Toilet Paper
“When they started baking sourdough, I knew for certain"
Hillary Clinton’s Emails Invaded Capitol, Trump Supporters Claim
"Those are not Trump supporters, they are Hillary Clinton’s emails disguised to look like Trump supporters”
Man Arrested For Broken Tail Light Starting To Wish He’d Just Invaded The Nation’s Capitol And Tried To Overthrow The Government
"What was I thinking? Drawing attention to myself like that?"
Garth Brooks Urgently Asked To Play Free Concert In DC To Lure Trump Supporters From Capitol Building
“As soon as they hear the opening chords to ‘Ain’t Going Down ‘Till The Sun Comes Up’ they’ll run out of the building"
National Guard Finally Storms Capitol Building After Black Janitor Accidentally Enters Building Through Wrong Doorway
"This is now a dangerous and highly volatile situation"
The Queen’s 2020 Christmas Message Is A Bit Different This Year
"Some fucktrumpet thought he could outsmart a virus by buying 400 packets of spaghetti"