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When Is It Ok To Leave My House? Australia’s Coronavirus Restrictions Explained
Australians have been told not to leave their house unless it’s absolutely necessary. So what is a permissible reason to
Morrison Acts Swiftly To Save Ansett From Total Collapse
Saying he wanted to get on the front foot before things got worse, Scott Morrison has announced a rescue package
“America Is The Best At Coronavirus, It’s Incredible!”
“America is winning at coronavirus, it’s incredible,” the President has confirmed
Hairdressers To Remain Open Provided They Cut Hair From 1.5m Away
Announcing a range of tough new measures last night, Scott Morrison has declared that hairdressers and barbers can remain open,
QUIZ: Which One Of These Boats Was Stopped From Entering Australia Because It Was A Threat To National Security?
Mexico Asks Trump To Hurry Up And Build The Fucking Wall 
Mexico says it wants the wall on the US-Mexico border completed by the end of the week
2020 Cancelled: Read the full statement
2020 will no longer go ahead, it has been confirmed
Shoppers Rush To Supermarkets To Get Coronavirus
People have flocked to packed supermarkets around the country, eager to pick up a case of COVID-
Man Who Has Runny Nose And Fucking Hates His Job Pretty Sure He Has Coronavirus 
A Melbourne man who woke up with a bit of a sniffle and an ongoing hatred of his job, feels
People Are Panic-Buying Shovel Memberships And If You Don’t Buy One Now You Might Miss Out!
Hello Shovel reader, You’ve probably heard by now that there’s been a huge rush on Shovel memberships over the last
5 Great Toilet Paper Recipes For Idiots Who Forgot To Buy Food 
You’ve contracted coronavirus, you’ve been told you need to self-isolate for 14 days, and instead of buying things you actually
Trump Says He Will Travel To Coronavirus Soon To Help Out With Crisis There
US President Donald Trump says the US is willing to provide whatever support the people of Coronavirus need to help
Your IQ Is 150 Minus The Number Of Toilet Paper Rolls You Have In Your House Right Now 
A new, simpler measure of intelligence has been developed which is calculated by subtracting the number of rolls of toilet
Bettina Arndt Gives Back Order Of Australia After Realising She Is Denying A More-Deserving Man
Social commentator and men’s rights activist Bettina Arndt has voluntarily handed in her AO, after someone pointed out that, by
Morrison Agrees To Bail Out Holden If They Re-Open As An Open-Cut Coal Mine
Scott Morrison has thrown iconic car-maker Holden a lifeline, approving a $200 billion emergency grant to help the troubled carmaker