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5 Great Toilet Paper Recipes For Idiots Who Forgot To Buy Food 
You’ve contracted coronavirus, you’ve been told you need to self-isolate for 14 days, and instead of buying things you actually
Trump Says He Will Travel To Coronavirus Soon To Help Out With Crisis There
US President Donald Trump says the US is willing to provide whatever support the people of Coronavirus need to help
Your IQ Is 150 Minus The Number Of Toilet Paper Rolls You Have In Your House Right Now 
A new, simpler measure of intelligence has been developed which is calculated by subtracting the number of rolls of toilet
Bettina Arndt Gives Back Order Of Australia After Realising She Is Denying A More-Deserving Man
Social commentator and men’s rights activist Bettina Arndt has voluntarily handed in her AO, after someone pointed out that, by
Morrison Agrees To Bail Out Holden If They Re-Open As An Open-Cut Coal Mine
Scott Morrison has thrown iconic car-maker Holden a lifeline, approving a $200 billion emergency grant to help the troubled carmaker
Morrison Responds Decisively To Sydney Floods By Announcing Funding For Ark
Scott Morrison says the best way to cope with the floods causing havoc across New South Wales is with a
Aussie Taika Waititi Wins Oscar!
Aussie filmmaker Taika Waititi has won the award for Best Adapted Screenplay at this year’s Academy Awards, for his film
Trump Calls For US To Leave EU Too
US President Donald Trump has told a rally in Nebraska that it is time the United States followed Britain’s lead
Most Coronavirus Cases Caused By Arson, The Australian Claims
At least two thirds of all instances of the deadly coronavirus have been deliberately started by arsonists, the country’s national
Sex Is Only For Heterosexual Couples, Says Man Wearing GORGEOUS Gold Hat
An English man wearing a stunning yellow and gold striped dress, delightfully accessorised with a striking gold and emerald green
cory bernardi
Who Is Going To Ensure We Don’t Have Sex With Animals, Now That Cory Bernardi Has Retired?
EDITORIAL: This week Cory Bernardi resigned from politics. It’s a well-deserved break, after a stunning 13-year career, but we urge
“Grants Were Allocated Fairly”, Bridget McKenzie Says From Her Personal, Custom-Built Gymnasium And Swimming Complex 
The controversial sports grant program that critics claim was unfairly allocated, was totally above board, Bridget McKenzie has told journalists
scott morrison climate change
Bushfire Relief For Marginal Electorates Only, Government Says
Scott Morrison says the Government’s $2 billion bushfire relief fund will be set aside for seats won by a margin
Man Worth $40 Million Hoping To Become Financially Independent
A British man worth around £30 million has announced plans to make it by on his own
Man Without Job To Step Back From Job
A British man who doesn’t have a job will be taking a break, it has been confirmed