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kelly o'dwyer satire
Kelly O’Dwyer Resigns, To Spend Less Time Working With Children
Liberal front bencher Kelly O’Dwyer will not contest the next election, citing the ‘very personal reasons’ of wanting to spend
British Man Immediately Loses 50 Pounds After Joining Gym
London man John Smythe is already halfway towards achieving his 2019 goal of shedding 100 pounds, saying he dropped 50
Turnbulls Move Out Of Cramped, Dingy 8-Bedroom Prime Minister’s Residence
Saying they were looking forward to having their own space again, the Turnbulls today started moving out of their poky
coles plastic bags
New Coles Initiative Allows Customers To Dispose Of Plastic Bags Directly Into Ocean
Saying it wanted to make it as easy as possible for customers to contribute to environmental degradation, shopping centre giant
bank robs man
Bank Robs Man
Authorities are searching for a bank that is alleged to have been involved in a spate of robberies spanning several
ikea robot
Robots That Built IKEA Chair Now Divorced
Citing ‘irreparable differences’, a pair of Singaporean robots who famously built an IKEA chair last week, has divorced, after the
lifeguard
US Lifeguards To Carry Sharks, To Protect Beachgoers From Future Shark Attacks
Donald Trump has proposed radical new measures that would see lifeguards on US beaches carrying live sharks, in an attempt
ikea heaven
Ikea Founder Forced To Walk Through Entire Heaven Before Getting To His Section
Ikea Founder Ingvar Kampgrad spent today walking through eighteen different departments and a maze of passageways, just to get to
centrelink
Centrelink Caller Qualifies for Aged Pension While On Hold
A Brisbane woman who rang Centrelink to enquire about a youth allowance 38 years ago has finally had her phone
Hottest 100
People Outraged That Date Of Music Countdown They Don’t Listen To Has Changed 
Angry people around the country who don’t listen to the Hottest 100 on January 26 are furious that they’ll now
Trump toddler
Trump Named Time Magazine’s ‘Toddler of the Year’
Donald Trump has been named the most influential little boy in the world
malcolm turnbull yes
Turnbull Backs Yes Campaign, Just Wishes He Was In A Position To Do More
Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has thrown his support behind the ‘yes’ campaign in the upcoming same-sex marriage survey, but says
australia day dual citizen
Changing Australia Day “An Insult To All Dual Citizens”, Politicians Say
Members of the House and Senate have joined Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull in condemning the Yarra City Council’s decision to
jacqui lambi tasmania
Jacqui Lambie Dual Citizen Of Tasmania, Office Confirms
The office of Independent senator Jacqui Lambie was in crisis this morning, after the 46 year-old conceded she may hold
All MPs To Be Sent To Manus Island Until Citizenship Status Confirmed
Australia’s remaining politicians will be held on Manus Island as a precautionary measure, to allow authorities to properly establish their