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Man Relieved That Company He Hasn’t Heard From In 5 Years Is Here For Him At This Difficult Time
Sydney man Jim Lecke says it’s a huge relief to know that an electronics retailer that he bought a charging
Teenager Lectures Parents About Going Out All The Time
Astounded to hear her parents were heading out YET AGAIN tonight, Sydney teenager Lily Bertrand has told her parents they
Hairdressers To Remain Open Provided They Cut Hair From 1.5m Away
Announcing a range of tough new measures last night, Scott Morrison has declared that hairdressers and barbers can remain open,
Nation’s Dogs Announce Plans To Continue Working From Home
The nation’s dogs will work from home again this week, it has been confirmed
5 Million New Podcasts To Launch Next Week
The world is about to be absolutely fucking inundated with exciting new content, it has been revealed
Shoppers Rush To Supermarkets To Get Coronavirus
People have flocked to packed supermarkets around the country, eager to pick up a case of COVID-
Marrickville Coles Totally Out Of Typewriters And Vintage Suitcases, As Panic Buying Continues
Stores in Sydney’s inner west and Melbourne’s inner north are experiencing a shortage of essentials including vintage suitcases, ukuleles and
Local Man Surprised To Learn About This New ‘Washing Your Hands’ Thing
Perth man Trevor Seacliff says he is willing to give the new ‘washing your hands’ craze a try after hearing
Local Introvert Prepares For Coronavirus By Self-Isolating For Last 20 Years
Sydney man Kyle McKenzie says he has been preparing for the COVID-19 epidemic since 2001, cleverly avoiding crowds and public
Man Who Has Runny Nose And Fucking Hates His Job Pretty Sure He Has Coronavirus 
A Melbourne man who woke up with a bit of a sniffle and an ongoing hatred of his job, feels
5 Great Toilet Paper Recipes For Idiots Who Forgot To Buy Food 
You’ve contracted coronavirus, you’ve been told you need to self-isolate for 14 days, and instead of buying things you actually
Powerball Jackpots To 12-Pack Of 3-Ply Toilet Paper
One lucky Australian could walk away with a week’s supply of toilet paper tonight, after Powerball jackpotted to a dozen
Your IQ Is 150 Minus The Number Of Toilet Paper Rolls You Have In Your House Right Now 
A new, simpler measure of intelligence has been developed which is calculated by subtracting the number of rolls of toilet
People Panic-Buying Toilet Paper Are Most Likely To Die From Coronavirus, New Research Confirms 
People who think toilet paper is the most important thing to stock up on during a viral outbreak are probably
Hotel Room Only Has 48 Lamps
A room at a local hotel chain has fewer than 50 lamps, a man was surprised to discover this week