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“Australia Day: No-one can stop me celebrating the anniversary of Captain Cook’s 334 not out against the advancing Japanese troops at Gallipoli”
Gallipoli is one of the toughest grounds to play in the world. They don’t call it ‘The Kokoda Track’ for nothing
The Manus Island Open is thrilled to announce wild card entrant Novak Djokovic
“We’re expecting he’ll be spending quite a bit of time here"
landfill
Innovative new shopping service allows customers to send Christmas gifts directly to landfill
"Cut out the middle man"
Children tell Santa they’ve been a ‘marginal Liberal electorate’ this year, in hope of getting more presents
"Dear Santa, I've been a good little Liberal electorate on a margin of less than 5%"
George Christensen given 17th and 3rd final warning
“One. Two. Two and a half. Two and three quarters"
Australia is the drunkest country in the world, finds nosy fuckin survey that’s just asking to get its head kicked in
"Yeah? You wanna go?"
Scott Morrison wins Best Costume Design, Best Supporting Actor at AACTA Awards
He does all of his own stunts.
Omicron mix-up: PM suspends flights to Australia after mistakenly hearing that “E. Macron” is on the way over
"I'm not going to cop sledging"
Pauline Hanson condemns use of term ‘Black Friday’, saying ‘all Fridays matter’
"We're in danger of being swamped by Black Friday sales"
Man waving ‘Trump 2020’ flag shocked to realise he is in Australia. In 2021.
“Next you’re going to tell me this building isn’t the White House,” he said pointing to Federation Square.
Can-do capitalism: an explainer
It uses an advanced form of resource allocation known as ‘corruption’
Conspiracy theorist Melbourne Cup horses refuse to take horse wormer, insist on human wormer instead
"So many horses are sheep"
Man announces he will quit drinking by 2050
He has assured friends it will not affect his drinking plans in the short or medium term
America – please help liberate Australia. Donate now!
Just $100 can buy us a nice brunch for four at our local café
Jenny Morrison Shames Scott Into Doing Dishes By Buying Times Square Billboard
"It's the only way to get his attention these days"

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