Recent News
-
Apple Scraps iTunes To Focus On Exciting New Ways To Lose Your Music
Tech giant Apple says it will phase out iTunes and replace it with three innovative new ways to totally fuck with your music collection.
-
Mt Everest Promises To Install Second ATM
Mt Everest authorities have responded to the frustrations of climbers queuing for cash, saying they will install a second ATM on the mountain before the...
-
Climate Change Put On Hold Until Next Election
Global warming has been shelved until at least the next federal election, the Coalition announced today.
-
May Resigns To Allow Britain To Fuck Up Brexit A Different Way
British Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she will stand down from her role to give other people a chance to totally destroy the...
-
Peter Dutton Believes He Has Numbers To Win Labor Party Leadership
Home Affairs Minister and maths whiz Peter Dutton says he has the numbers he needs to secure the ALP leadership.
-
Tanya Plibersek Pulls Out Of Race Against Albo And ScoMo: ‘Australia’s Not Ready For A Leader Without A Nickname Ending In O’
ALP veteran Tanya Plibersek has pulled out of the Labor leadership race, saying fellow ALP heavyweight Albo is the only one who has what it...
-
Sportsbet Pays Out Early On Carlton Premiership Win
Betting company Sportsbet has announced it will pay out on a Carlton flag now, rather than wait for the Blues’ inevitable victory in September.
-
Clive Palmer Could Have Won Same Amount Of Seats With Half The Spend, Analysis Shows
Expert analysis shows that mining magnate Clive Palmer could have won zero seats with just $30 million – half of the $60 million he reportedly...
-
Australia Elects Coalition, Excitedly Waits To See What Its Policies Will Be
Saying it was like waiting to open presents on Christmas morning, Australians across the country were today eagerly waiting to see what policies they had...
-
Nation Re-Elects Man Who Took A Piece Of Fucking Coal Into Parliament
Australia has decided that the best man to lead the country is a man who took an actual pet rock into federal parliament.
Follow The Shovel
