January 16, 2022

Government now claiming Djokovic bought $15k of Cartier watches

"I am absolutely appalled by this"

January 12, 2022

Government waiting for Rapid Anti-Djokovic Polling before fucking up next move

"We need to stumble into the next crisis with certainty"

January 11, 2022

NSW introduces more efficient ‘Tell us if you don’t have COVID’ reporting app

"We're expecting literally dozens of people to tell us they're negative"

January 10, 2022

Governor General contracts COVID-19 despite self isolating for the past 2.5 years

"COVID has managed to find the Governor General when none of the rest of us could"

January 9, 2022

Morrison says Government is ‘prepared and ready’ for new Delta strain of COVID-19

“Our message to Australians is – ‘We’re ready’”

January 6, 2022

The Manus Island Open is thrilled to announce wild card entrant Novak Djokovic

“We’re expecting he’ll be spending quite a bit of time here"

January 6, 2022

Victorians granted last-minute medical exemption from Novak Djokovic

"Victorians have suffered enough"

January 5, 2022

Morrison to close all public hospitals to avoid undercutting private enterprise

"Private hospitals need confidence they won't be undercut"

January 5, 2022

Government to allow Australians to dip into super to pay for RATs

"If you don't want to access your super, then just sell one of your investment properties"

January 5, 2022

Independent panels conclude that Novak Djokovic is incredibly fucking rich

"He has a very high immunity to the rules that apply to ordinary people”

January 5, 2022

NFT of RAT sells for $400,000

"It's the only one of its kind"

January 4, 2022

Powerball jackpots to 4-pack of RATs

"It is the most sought after prize in the history of Powerball"

January 4, 2022

Greg Hunt: “If RATs were free, there would be nothing stopping people just going and looking after their health”

"It would be a free-for-all"

December 30, 2021

Man contracts, then recovers from COVID while waiting in testing line

"By day 14 I was pretty sure I was clear"

December 29, 2021

Morrison finally responds to exploding case numbers by announcing delicious new korma curry

"This is one of my favourites"