Follow The Shovel
September 24, 2020
Daniel Andrews’ North Face jacket applies for JobKeeper after being stood down for 6 months
Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews’ North Face jacket has applied for the JobKeeper wage subsidy after being told it is no
September 23, 2020
Government Announces $4.5 Billion Upgrade To Convert NBN To Gas
"Gas has chosen itself"
September 18, 2020
University of NSW renamed ‘Gas Exploration Australia’ – will now receive government JobSeeker subsidies
The Government will use taxpayer dollars to build an additional campus for Gas Exploration Australia, even though there is no need for one
September 17, 2020
Daniel Andrews Refuses To Scrap 9pm Curfew But Agrees To Let Melburnians Read In Bed Until 9:30
"Then that’s it; it’s lights out"
September 16, 2020
Morrison Announces New Rebate Scheme For Rooftop Coal-Fired Power Stations
"We need to think of innovative ways to lower our reliance on traditional forms of energy production"
September 14, 2020
Victoria Doubles Contact Tracing Capacity With Purchase Of Second Fax Machine
"The decision to make the purchase came after a $32 million review by consulting firm KPMG"
September 11, 2020
Morrison pressures Queensland to adopt a more humane border policy that requires people to isolate on Manus Island for 7 years first
An emotional Scott Morrison has put forward a compromise solution for Queensland’s border closure, saying a requirement for those wishing
September 10, 2020
Sydney family wishing to see ill father in Queensland, finally granted permission after becoming AFL footballers
Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk says she will allow a Sydney family to enter the state in order to see their
September 8, 2020
EXCLUSIVE: Despite the hyped announcement and subsequent promises, the Morrison family cubby house is yet to be built, inside sources say
"I don't hold a nail gun mate"
September 6, 2020
Andrews Bows To Overwhelming Weight Of Evidence From Protesters And Cancels Lockdown
“The rigour of the thinking and the eloquence with which it was presented was just so convincing"
September 5, 2020
1,000 New Cases Of Fuckwit Confirmed In Melbourne
Some argue they have been Fuckwits all along
September 4, 2020
JUST IN: The COVIDSafe App has identified there was an outbreak at Melbourne’s Rydges Hotel in May
"Who knows what would’ve happened if we hadn’t been alerted to this so early"
September 3, 2020
‘We told you Labor would wreck the economy’, Frydenberg says, announcing Australia officially in recession
"We told you a vote for Labor was a vote for recession, debt and unemployment - and look where we are now".
September 2, 2020
Aged Care Minister Wondering Why People Keep Thinking He’s Responsible For Aged Care
Aged Care Minister Richard Colbeck says he is confused by the growing number of people who seem to think he
September 1, 2020
“We’re all in this together”, Morrison tells New South Wales, Queensland, Western Australia, South Australia, Tasmania, ACT and NT
"When we’re doing it tough, we face it as one – five states, two territories"
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