The Nation
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PM Provides Boost To Struggling Fire Departments, Committing An Extra Two Million Thoughts & Prayers Per Year
Saying his government would do whatever it takes to fight the increasing number of fires in Australia, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has committed an unprecedented...
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“Labor Lost Because It Had An Unpopular Leader”, Says Some Guy
Labor’s election campaign failed because its leader was unable to engage voters, some random dude reckons.
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Morrison Responds To Increasing Numbers Of Bushfires By Not Scrapping Franking Credits
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has responded decisively to the increasing frequency and severity of bushfires in Australia, promising not to scrap franking credits for wealthy...
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Labor: “Our Campaign Had Too Many Messages”. Shorten: “I Reject That For The Following 17 Reasons”
The much-anticipated post mortem of the Labor Party’s failed election campaign has found that the campaign was trying to communicate too many things at once....
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Morrison Agrees To Allow Protests If They Don’t Take Place In Public Or Express An Opinion
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has softened his stance on protests, saying he is willing to allow them if they refrain from expressing a point of...
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7 Phrases Scott Morrison Learnt From His Empathy Consultant To Make Him Sound Like A Human Being
This week it was revealed that the Morrison government paid $190,000 to receive advice from empathy consultants. The Shovel can now reveal exclusive further detail...
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Angus Taylor Provides Documentation To Prove Australian Drought Is Over
Federal Energy Minister Angus Taylor has provided newspaper The Daily Telegraph with compelling photographic evidence that the Australian drought is over.
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Scott Cam Tells Kids Being A Tradie Is A Good Career Option If You Quit To Become A National TV Host
The Government’s new National Careers Ambassador Scott Cam says too many young people overlook the option of becoming a tradie and then quitting being a...
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People Forced To Find Other Ways To Be Insensitive Wankers, Now That Uluru Closed To Climbers
Those looking to shit on culturally sacred icons will need to look further afield, once Uluru is closed to climbers later this month.
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Morrison Shits His Pants While Visiting Maccas In US
The White House has confirmed that the Australian Prime Minster did a filthy shit in his underwear while touring a Maccas drive-thru as part of...
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