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March 1, 2021
Scott Morrison Gets Vaccinated Again In Desperate Attempt To Shift Media Attention
Wearing a Wallabies guernsey, a Matildas scarf and a VB hat, Prime Minister was vaccinated against COVID-19 for the second time in a week
February 25, 2021
Morrison Says He’s Uniquely Qualified To Speak At International Women’s Day Event Given His Wife Is A Woman
“My wife is a woman, and has been for the entire 30 years of our marriage”
February 25, 2021
Scott Morrison First Victim Of ‘Job Dobber’ Hotline, After Tip-Off Reveals He’s Avoided Work For A Whole Year
"Mr Morrison now faces having his $10,000-a-week government payment suspended"
February 23, 2021
Jobseeker Increase Means Recipients Can Now Afford To Rent An Apartment In Sydney In 1994
“I kinda don’t know what I’m going to do with all the extra cash"
February 23, 2021
Craig Kelly Moves To Crossbench So He Can Finally Continue Saying Whatever He Wants
“It will be a refreshing continuation of the status quo to be able to post bullshit without any consequences"
February 23, 2021
Search For Anthony Albanese Continues
“There is no evidence of life on Mars. And Anthony Albanese isn’t there either"
February 23, 2021
Scott Morrison Says He Wasn’t Aware Of Most Recent Rape Allegations Until February 2024
"I wasn’t made aware of this until after the next Federal election"
February 23, 2021
Prime Minister’s Office to take urgent action against new sexual assault allegations: “We’ll start work on discrediting the woman’s family members immediately”
The Prime Minister’s office says it is treating the latest sexual assault allegation with the utmost urgency and will start
February 22, 2021
Quarantine Workers First In Line To Watch Prime Minister Get Vaccine
"It's a reward for everything they've done for us"
February 21, 2021
Amount Of Energy Used To Cover Up Sexual Assault Allegations At Parliament House Causes Blackout In Texas
Roughly 4 million Texans were without power after a massive upsurge in media management activity
February 19, 2021
Morrison Finally Responds To Sexual Assault Scandal By Releasing A 3-Minute Video Of Himself Building A Pizza Oven
"This is a very serious matter - make absolutely certain you get all the bricks lined up before you mix the cement, otherwise you’ll run into real problems later"
February 19, 2021
ABC To Include QAnon Updates In Bushfire Alerts, To Ensure They’re Acceptable To Facebook
"We need to include more Facebook-appropriate information, like unproven treatments for COVID-19, or made-up theories about vaccines"
February 17, 2021
Scott Morrison Denounces Rape After Jen Tells Him To Imagine He’s Human
"Try to mimic what a human being might say if they’ve just been told a woman was raped"
February 17, 2021
Scott Morrison Agrees To Properly Fund Education After Jen Tells Him His Daughters Go To School
"I had no idea"
February 16, 2021
142,000 Scott Morrison Photo Ops Arrive In Australia
"The full roll-out of media stunts begins next week"
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