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‘How To Look Busy While Doing Absolutely Fuck All’, By Scott Morrison
"If you think you’ve done too many cheesy photo shoots of you doing barre in a meatworks factory, you haven't done nearly enough"
Vic Opposition Releases List Of 12 Unanswered Questions About Who Took The Cookie From The Cookie Jar
"Victorians deserve answers"
“Letting Biloela family stay will lead to influx of people wanting to spend 3 years locked on an island while their child contracts a rare blood infection”
“We let one family in and next thing we have thousands of families arriving at our doorstep saying, ‘lock me up in a cage’"
Scott Morrison Running 20 Years Late For G7 Climate Meeting
"It's tricky when you're travelling from a different time zone and era"
The Biloela family have been held in detention for 1,000 days – approximately the number of days MPs have spent doing empathy training this year
Asked if he had any compassion for the family, one minister said he hadn't got to that part of the course yet.
Now that we know the government spends its time trawling through The Shovel’s tweets, we’ve started posting data that it might find useful …
Hello government ministers! Please find below our tweets, packed with useful analysis and information. We hope this service is of
Sydney Journalist Writes 1000-Word Think Piece Telling Victorians How They Feel About Being In Lockdown
The column included handy advice for Victorians, based on not having been through anything remotely similar before
Biloela Family Allowed Into Australia After Revealing They Are Gameshow Hosts
"We're so sorry for the mixup"
Scott Morrison Too Lazy To Be Part Of QAnon
"The work-ethic required to keep up with that shit is well beyond Scott Morrison"
New Government Plan To Phase Out Coal By Digging It All Up And Burning It
"We won’t leave any rock, stone or sacred Aboriginal site unturned”.
New Covid Payment To Provide $500 For Those Working 20 Hours A Week, Or $22 Million For Those Who Own A Chain Of Furniture, Bedding And Electrical Stores
"It will only apply to people with less than $10,000 or more $1.5 billion in liquid assets"
Nine Graphs That Explain The Government’s Progress In Tackling The Virus
Learn how the government is tracking on its key metrics.
Government Encourages Casual Workers To Sell Their Investment Properties To Make It Through Vic Lockdown
"If you've failed to plan for this you've only got yourself to blame"
Nursing Home Resident Training For Australian Olympic Team In Order To Be Prioritised For Vaccination
"Running sub 2 minutes over 800 metres is unlikely. But still more likely than a competent vaccine rollout before July".
We want to be careful not to reveal this person’s identity, but a senior government minister has massively fucked up his own defamation case