July 29, 2021

Guy Who Started Watching 3 Minutes Ago Already Expert In Canoe Slalom

"The way she’s navigating those downstream gates makes me think she’s on song here"

July 29, 2021

New 7Plus App Combines All Racist Content Onto One Handy Platform

"Over forty screens of racist content!"

July 28, 2021

Sydney Makes Official Request For Olympics To Be Extended By Four Weeks

"Watching Kaylee McKeown swim sub 58' is about all that’s holding me together right now"

July 22, 2021

Brisbane 2032 Olympics To Welcome Athletes From Countries Right Across The Australia/New Zealand Travel Bubble

"Provided the border with New Zealand is open at that particular time"

June 11, 2021

Man Just Assumes ‘Lilibet’ Is Name Of New Sports Betting Company

“I’ve got Sportsbet, Pointsbet, GoBet, WinnersBet, PalmerBet, BlueBet, Bet365 and UniBet … but I’m not seeing Lilibet. Strange"

June 8, 2021

We’ve Pitched A New Show To Netflix: 60 Minutes Of Senator James Paterson Reading Out Our Tweets

You may have seen the pilot episode in Senate Estimates yesterday. If not, watch the clip below

June 8, 2021

Annastacia Palaszczuk Gets First Anabolic Steroid Jab, As She Begins Surprising Attempt To Qualify For Tokyo Olympics

The Queensland Premier has taken her first steps towards an ambitious goal of qualifying for the Tokyo Olympics, receiving the

June 4, 2021

New Four Corners Episode To Explore PM’s Links To Crazy Conspiracy Group

"The strange sect believes there’s an imaginary being in the sky who hates gay people"

June 3, 2021

AFL Matches In Adelaide To Go Ahead Without Ball

"Let me reassure you that no other part of the game will be affected"

May 24, 2021

Oprah Reveals Underhanded Tactics She Used To Secure Harry & Meghan Interview: “I Pretended To Care”

Winfrey created a series of fake smiles and head nods in order to impersonate someone who gave a shit

May 18, 2021

“White Men Aren’t Allowed To Talk Anymore” Joe Rogan Tells 190 Million Listeners During 3-Hour Podcast

"We're being silenced"

May 17, 2021

Prince Harry Releases New Book, Podcast, Movie Franchise In Desperate Bid For Privacy

“We just want to get onto our lives – which you can view on our new reality TV show starting next month"

May 13, 2021

‘Oceans Fourteen’ Just Matt Damon Breaking Into A TAB To Put A Bet On A Dog

A race against the clock to put a bet on race 14 at Wentworth Park.

April 13, 2021

Man Who Had Brief Conversation With Prince Philip In 1964 Interviewed For Half An Hour By ABC

“We’ve got to draw this out for at least another week"

April 13, 2021

Ben Roberts-Smith To Feature On Seven’s Dancing With The Stars

His favourite moves are the box-step and the box-buried-in-the-backyard.