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Election 2022

Morrison retains edge as preferred Prime Minister, The Australian confirms
"You need to take the poll on Saturday with a grain of salt"
Dejected Liberal staffers gather for farewell desk wank
"We're not going to be able to come here anymore"
Liberal Party dramatically underestimated number of women in Australia, post-mortem reveals
"We thought they made up 5%, maybe 10% of the population tops"
Senior Liberal figures to examine how electorate got it so wrong
"Voters need to have a good, hard look at themselves"
Coalition ‘clear winner’ (when using carryover credits from previous elections)
"We're well above the required target"
United Australia Party gets confused, accidentally delivers 3% cap on its primary vote
“I was supposed to be Prime Minister by now!"
Liberals make native title claim as traditional owners of Kooyong
"This electorate belongs to us"
There’s an unwanted bulldozer for sale on Gumtree if you’re interested
"Doesn't work"
Kristina Keneally releases statement conceding defeat: “I’ve been honoured to stand for the people of [need to ask Terry name of electorate]”
“I’ll never forget this special place. Although I’m sure I’ll continue to forget to take the third turn-off on the M2"
Federal elections are an issue for the states, Morrison says
"It's not my job"
Libertarian Tim Wilson finally manages to get government out of his life
"It's a relief to no longer receive a $250k salary from the state"
Morrison clears out his office
"Ah ... that time I dressed up as a pilot when everyone was in lockdown"
Labor to blame for election loss: Morrison
"This was a deliberate, sustained attempt by the Labor Party to unseat us"
Play School not renewed for 10th season
"The make believe show was too expensive to maintain"
Daily Telegraph editors tossing up whether to depict Albanese as Nazi or Communist for tomorrow’s front page
"We need to take this historic moment seriously"