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‘Virtual assistant’ on company website is ready to be massively fucking pointless
“Hi, I’m here to totally misunderstand your question”
New Qantas service to help passengers lose their emotional baggage
"It works just the same as normal baggage. You'll have no idea where it's gone"
The Shovel is hiring a trade commissioner for New York
Previous experience working for a comedy organisation is essential.
Only 83% of Australians identify as influencers, new census data shows
"That means 2 million Australian are not providing advice on how to live your best life"
Junior worker tells company to ‘show restraint’ when seeking profits: “We don’t want to fuel inflation”
“Nobody begrudges high-paid workers a pay increase, but right now we can’t afford it"
Murdoch divorce settlement: Jerry to get Australia
Jerry Hall will take over control of Australia, after the two came to an agreement over their divorce settlement
Qantas to phase out passengers, in new plan to improve service
"This will slash wait times at airports and eliminate lost luggage completely"
Qantas introduces new ‘BYO Baggage Handler’ feature for customers who want luggage loaded onto plane
"Customers will still be able to choose to have their luggage lost on route if they want to"
Minimum wage hike could lift people out of poverty, business groups warn
"We need to consider the impact on the economy"
Minimum wage rises by 1/8th lettuce an hour
"That's a full iceberg every single day for Australia's lowest paid workers"
6 tips for surviving the cost of living crisis, by Clive Palmer
"#1. Find cheaper ways to win zero seats at federal elections"
Elon Musk forced to sell off part of his ego to finance Twitter deal
Things are getting desperate
Queen pulls out of Jubilee appearance, Elon Musk questions how serious she is about job
“If you don’t show up, we’ll assume you have resigned"
Petrol station going to need a few weeks to pass on price change it took a few minutes to pass on last month
"We can't just change prices at the drop of a hat!"
Starbucks to punish Russians by continuing to operate all 130 Russian stores
“We’ll continue to subject Russians to our Pumpkin-Spiced Lattes”