All posts by The Shovel
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Morrison Auctions Off Hawaiian Deck Chair For Bushfire Appeal
Moved by similar initiatives from ordinary Australians across the country, Scott Morrison has announced that he will auction off the chair he sat in while...
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Clear Link Between Craig Kelly And Total Fucking Stupidity, Scientists Claim
An overwhelming proportion of scientists now accept that Liberal MP Craig Kelly is a fucking idiot, new analysis shows.
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Morrison Launches New Ad Campaign To Apologise For Previous Ad Campaign
Scott Morrison has apologised to anyone who was offended by his bushfire-related advertisement, in a slick new advertisement released today.
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ScoMo Brought Into Australian Test Team After Producing World-Class Spin
Nathan Lyon will make way for Scott Morrison in Australia’s test line-up, after the Prime Minister proved to selectors he could deliver bigger and more...
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Firefighters Given Vital Extra TV Commercials To Help Fight New Blazes
Firefighters were breathing a sigh of relief tonight after learning the Federal government had fast-tracked essential new propaganda ads, which will be used to help...
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Scomo Says The Nation’s Bushfire Situation Has Improved Today, With Australia 3 For 283 At Stumps.
Scott Morrison says the bushfire crisis gripping the nation is improving, with Australia making a solid start to the first day of the third test...
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Dutton Calls For Turnback Of Boat Spotted Off Coast Of Mallacoota
Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton has asked Australian Border Force to intercept a boat spotted off the coast of Mallacoota in Victoria’s far east.
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ScoMo Declares Empathy Training A Success After Totally Nailing Meet-And-Greet
Scott Morrison says the $190,000 he paid to hire an empathy consultant last year has paid dividends, after he effortlessly connected with locals in Cobargo...
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ScoMo Volunteers To Join Firefighters In Hawaii, After House Fire Breaks Out Near Waikiki
Prime Minister Scott Morrison has volunteered to join fire fighters in Hawaii, after a house fire broke out near Waikiki beach.
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This Plumber Was Contracted To Do A Last-Minute Job At The Lodge, But Got Confused And Fucked Off To Hawaii For 7 Days
A plumber who was called in to do some urgent pre-Christmas repairs at Scott Morrison’s Canberra residence has followed the Prime Minister’s lead and pissed...
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“We Had A Fire Pit At Our Resort In Waikiki Actually”: Scomo Tries Out Phrases With Empathy Consultant, Before Touring Bushfire Affected Areas
Refreshed and reinvigorated after his Hawaii escape, Scott Morrison was throwing around a few ideas with his empathy consultant this morning, before meeting with Australians...
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Morrison Arrives Back In Australia After Urgently Jumping On 6th Next Flight Available
Scott Morrison has spent 40 hours rushing back to Australia on a 11-hour flight from Hawaii.
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NSW Fires Rebranded As ‘Strawberry Contamination’, In Hope Of Encouraging Scott Morrison To Take More Urgent Action
NSW fire chiefs have made the difficult decision to rename the bushfire crisis engulfing the state as a ‘strawberry contamination’, in the hope it may...
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PM’s Office Confirms Scott Morrison Will Return From The Holiday He Didn’t Take
Scott Morrison will be on the next flight back from the holiday he didn’t take, his office has confirmed.
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Trump Voters Celebrate, As News Breaks Of Hillary Clinton’s Impeachment
Trump supporters across America are celebrating tonight, after news of Hillary Clinton’s impeachment quickly spread.
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