'15 Minute' Conspiracy Theorist Does Extra Lap of Block After Accidentally Arriving at Work in Under 15 Minutes — The Shovel

’15 Minute’ Conspiracy Theorist Does Extra Lap of Block After Accidentally Arriving at Work in Under 15 Minutes

Melbourne man Jason Trivoli says there is no way he is going to become part of the government’s grand mind-control experiment by arriving at work within a manageable commute time.

“Not a chance mate,” Trivoli said as he drove past his workplace to take the exit onto the city’s ring-road. “I’m more than happy to sit in peak hour traffic for another hour if you’re going to convenience me like that. I’m not going to just blindly accept this level of accessibility”.  

The 29 year-old office worker said the fact that his workplace was just three kilometres from his apartment was part of a carefully orchestrated government plan to control its citizens. “Don’t you think it’s a little too convenient? Who signed the contract on the lease? Who accepted the job just one suburb away from where he lives? Connect the dots people”.

He said he was also suspicious of the supermarket near his apartment. “It’s located eerily close to a lot of apartment blocks and medium density housing, which should have alarm bells ringing. I see a lot of sheeple slavishly going in there to pick up some last-minute things on their way home. I always make sure I travel for a least an hour if I need to pop down to the shops”.

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