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IKEA releases exciting new range of ‘Stackable ALP Branches’

Swedish furniture giant IKEA has developed an innovative new product called ‘ALP Branches’ which are easy to stack and can be used for whatever purpose you see fit.

Dubbed the best way to get your house or political party under control, the stackable branches are available in Victorian stores, but probably in every other state as well.  

“I love these – they’re just so versatile,” said one customer, who for legal reasons did not wish to be named.

“You can take control of your pantry, your kitchen or an entire political movement with these multipurpose stackable branches. I’d feel powerless without them!”  

He said the great thing was that once you had one set of stacked branches, you could easily add more. “The more you have, the more in control of everything you feel. It gets expensive, but it’s totally worth it”.

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews said he wasn’t aware of the product. “Never heard of them. Next question,” he said.

The stackable branches are available using cash only and cost an unspecified amount.

With Terry Beular

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