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Man demands 4 personal staffers to work out how to use MyGov

A Melbourne man has called on Anthony Albanese to provide each Australian with a team of personal staff to help manage the additional workload created by the hellhole government website MyGov.

Robert Tralore, 32, said he’d ideally need eight staff to properly understand the website, but would settle for four. “One to remember my username and password, one to work out how the hell to use the website, one to wait on hold when I call customer support, and one to provide mental health support when I receive an email telling me I have a message in my MyGov inbox”.

He said personal staffers were important to ensure a functioning democracy. “I had to take a week off work last year just to link my MyGov account to Medicare. It took me another week to work out how to access my vaccination certificate. Think about the impact that has on the economy”.

A spokesperson for online Government services said Australians were welcome to make an application for personal staff. “Just logon to MyGov, enter your unique 17 digit code, link your Medicare account to your mother-in-law’s Centrelink account, activate your Veterans Affairs record, type in the last eight digits of your tax file number, then call the phone number on your screen”.    

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