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Man who wants government out of his life accidentally makes government bigger part of his life

A man who has passionately called for governments to get out of people’s lives has somehow ended up in a job that requires him to work with the government every single goddamn day.

“I’ve spent the past two-and-a-half years fanatically calling for governments to stop meddling in people’s lives, and now I discover I AM the fucking government. How the hell did that happen?” United Australia’s Ralph Babet said.

The Melbourne man was shocked to learn he would now become reliant on government handouts. “The taxpayer is going to be paying my salary, paying for my travel, paying for my expenses. I can’t possibly accept this. How did I let this happen?”

Babet, who has previously described Canberra as ‘horrible’ and ‘a dive’, will need to spend months each year in the nation’s capital. “Is this some sort of sick joke?” he said.

He said he believes the election was rigged.

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