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Australians relieved to finally have Ministry chosen on incredibly specific factional alliances

After living through nine years of talentless Coalition front benches, Australians were relieved this week when Anthony Albanese revealed a group of Ministers chosen on nothing but a complex formula of in-house factional deal-making.

Labor voter Emily Picket said it will be great to finally have people leading the country who have relevant skills in factional manoeuvring.

“A lot of people have been looking forward to a Ministry based on merit. But I much prefer one that’s chosen on an intricate factional quota system,” she said.

“It’s reassuring to know that the person in charge of healthcare, or the person in charge of education is there because they have an in-depth understanding of the ins and outs of Labor’s factional system. That’s what I want for this country”.

Mark Lanasco, a Labor member in Queensland, agreed. “When there are vital decisions to be made about infrastructure spending or trade, for example, it’s good to know that the Minister in charge is there because he or she has a specific talent in jostling over the limited number of seats available in their faction”.

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