Outgoing Prime Minister Scott Morrison has announced his retirement from politics, saying he wants to spend more time running his fingers through strangers’ hair.
Morrison confirmed he had been offered “dream job” as ‘Wash and Blow-Dry Coordinator’ at his local hair salon and will start work on Monday.
“I’ll be working 30-40 minutes a week, so it’ll be a step up in workload. But they’ve said I can bring my photography crew with me each morning, so that shows they really get me”.
The salon’s owner, Tania Hughes, said Morrison would be perfect the role. “Basically he just needs to be able to talk shit for 10 minutes and then blow out a continuous stream of hot air. So it’s very similar to his previous roles”.
Hughes said Morrison will be paid the minimum wage, which she’s been told he thinks is adequate.