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Morrison offers to help with Lismore clean-up by washing people’s hair

Arriving with a 1.5 litre bottle of Pantene Pro-V Daily Moisturiser and a long hair-washing hose, PM Scott Morrison arrived in Lismore yesterday saying he was ready to help out in whatever hair-related way he could.

“It’s what I always do in a crisis,” Mr Morrison explained, lurching towards a woman with a handful of shampoo, as she ran away in shock.  

“Can we get this hose plugged in somewhere? Actually, there seems to be a fair bit of water around the place already”.

The PM said he just wanted to play his part in the clean-up effort. “My advisers told me that there was crisis happening up in Lismore, so of course I wanted to help out. I packed the shampoo and conditioner, booked in the personal photographer, and I was on the twenty-eighth flight up here”.

He apologised to locals for not getting much-needed photographers up to the area sooner. “That’s something we definitely need to get better at.

Headline by Donald Mackay

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