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Christian school withdraws enrolment contract, clarifying that its core belief has always been ‘Government Funding’

The fundamentalist Christian school that asked parents to sign a contract denouncing homosexuality has backed down after a threat of government intervention, clarifying that their core Christian values are, and have always been, ‘access to $13 million in government funding’.

The school’s principal said it was a simple misunderstanding. “We have always said that we believe each individual is created in the image of God and that hard, cold cash and a tax-free status is the fundamental building block of a fulfilling existence,” he said in a video to parents.

“Yes, we are absolutely obsessed with sex. But we are even more obsessed with money. So we will now begrudgingly accept your gay or trans kids if it means we can still accept the $13 million annual payment from the government, along with your annual fees”.

He said the school was simply following the Bible’s lesson. “It is central to our Christian ethos that missing out on money is seen as offensive to God. As Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Go forth and make sure your private educational institution receives the funding it requires for a new swimming pool or other sporting facility’”.

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