The Prime Minister has categorically denied claims the Commonwealth was requisitioning rapid antigen tests from businesses, saying there’s no way he could be arsed with the paperwork required.
“Mate, I didn’t have the resourcefulness to order vaccines in 2020 when Pfizer emailed me, literally begging me to buy them. So the idea that I’d go to the effort to organise for someone to seize tests from other companies is just fanciful. Do you know how much work that would be?” a bemused Scott Morrison told a press conference today.
“I mean, just think of the effort involved. I’d have to be aware of the fact that businesses had bought RATs in the first place – that would require me to read a briefing or something. Then I’d have to work out when the RATs were arriving. Then I’d have to have the ingenuity to come up with the idea of taking them. And then I’d have to get Jenny to make phone calls to Federal agencies to organise to intercept the tests. You’ve gotta be kidding me”.
Pressed by journalists claiming there was evidence that the Government had seized stock, Morrison laughed. “It’s so ridiculous. I mean just look at what month it is – it’s January! Everyone knows I don’t work in January. Or February. That doesn’t sound like me mate”.