Follow The Shovel

Omicron mix-up: PM suspends flights to Australia after mistakenly hearing that “E. Macron” is on the way over

Scott Morrison has immediately stopped all flights into Australia and violently shit himself in public, after mistakenly hearing that French president “E. Macron” was on his way to the country.

Asked by a journalist for comment on the government’s response to ‘Omicron’, a visibly shaken Prime Minister said he wasn’t going to cop sledging from the French, and announced he would be shutting down all air traffic into Australia from this morning.

“We can’t risk having further allegations about my character spreading unchecked throughout the country,” he said, before taking out his phone and leaking a series of private text messages.

After the confusion was cleared up and the PM learned it was a potentially deadly new variant of COVID-19 that had reached Australia’s shores and not an embittered Frenchman on a warpath, he breathed a sigh of relief, refused to comment or take responsibility for the government’s eventual botched response, and shook hands with a local cafe owner for his social media, before finally changing his pants.

By David from The ‘Berran

Like this? Donate a few bucks to The Shovel. And follow us on Email | Facebook Twitter Instagram

Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram


Enjoy this? Support The Shovel with a one-off 99c donation

For only the cost of a really shit coffee, or the annual tax payment of a multi-national company, you can support The Shovel. Make a one-off donation instantly using Spotpass - no credit card, no spam and $5 to spend instantly.

Thanks for your support!!