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Confused old man believes economic system that caused climate change will magically solve it

A bewildered quinquagenarian with no experience of the world outside the Sydney elite is under the impression that the same economic system that led to the overconsumption of fossil fuels which has caused “once in a hundred year” weather events every other week is the same system that will put the world back on track. 

The man, who has profited from industries accelerating the climate crisis, has told journalists that government intervention isn’t necessary to correct the market failures rampant in these industries.

The plan is contingent on the expectation that businesses will put societal welfare ahead of profits, or in other words, expecting them to behave in a way that no business has ever behaved in the history of modern society.

The man assured journalists that although he doesn’t intend to lift a finger to help mitigate the damage from the climate crisis, and has in fact taken measures to deepen it, he’ll be there to take credit for the accomplishments of industry if they come to a miraculous solution.

By David from The ‘Berran

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