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Government shows commitment to reducing waste by developing environmental policy on back of envelope

Saying it didn’t want to use any more resources than strictly necessary, the Coalition has revealed its net zero environmental plan was developed using just the back of an old envelope and a half-used children’s crayon.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison said his government is committed to doing whatever it can to reduce wastage. “Why develop a fully thought-through plan when there’s a perfectly good envelope that’s otherwise going to go to waste? If you’re wondering why there are so few ideas in our plan, that’s because we don’t want to use ideas unnecessarily. Some people see ideas as a renewable resource, but within the Coalition they are very much a finite thing.

He said reaching net zero would require a shift in mindset. “If we’re going to meet our targets, we’re going to have to get used to using less,” Scott Morrison explained. “This Coalition government is very experienced at doing the bare minimum, so we think we’re well set up to meet and beat our goals”.

The ‘plan’ consists of the word ‘technology’ written in large green writing. Mr Morrison’s daughters also drew a tree and a sun on the front.

With Chris Auld @DamnYouChrisA

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